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sw124 · 3 years ago

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MLC: Josie and Viper

[Symbiote Boyfriend]

She hadn’t moved all day, she barely ate anything all week, she didn’t speak to anyone for almost a month; her phone muted. She tossed and turned on her couch from time to time but mostly to keep a cramp in her leg at bay. The only time she moved from the couch was to use the restroom, if it wasn’t for Viper she probably would have trouble even moving a single finger.

“Babe, honey you need to eat.”

Josie tilted her head towards the voice, no one was in the room. Her stomach complied with the tone, it growled like a ticked off bear. With a heavy sigh she walked into the kitchen, she went to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk. From her back a large ocean-black tendril extended and pulled out a box of cereal and a large bowl. Josie picked up two spoons and went back to the couch, once the cereal was made the tendril picked up the remote and turned on the TV; from her shoulder a larger mass formed a head and turned to her. Large milky eyes curved upwards before leaning and gently placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

“….Thanks sweetie…….sorry about all this-“ she was silenced with a smaller tendril touching her lips.

“Babe you got nothing to be sorry about, come on lets watch some dumbass commercials and classic cartoons. We’ll deal with what happened later…ok?”

Viper nearly melted seeing her smile, he could feel that little spark of joy in her…but then get smothered by guilt again…he had to help her but problem was how.

After the seventh spoonful of chocolate cereal came a rather interesting commercial. It was an ad for the Meta Clinic and…Monster/Human couples therapy? This made the couple pause, this was…well this was new! Sure there were dating sites, clubs, cafes and speed dating for people looking for monster boy/girlfriends but now offering couples therapy?

Viper wanted so badly to grab the phone and call for an appointment but…he didn’t wanna force Josie into something like that. He’d be doing more damage then good…he’d start by talking about it.

[Two weeks later]

“Viper and Josie?” The secretary called out. Josie looked up from her phone and stood up.

“Thats us…” Viper extended his head from her back giving a nod.

“Dr. Fortune will see you now, please head back down the hall to room 7 please.”

With a nervous smile she proceeded down the hall, Vipers head gently tucked beside her..whispering soothing nonsense. This was enough to at least quell the rising panic in her chest, finally they came to a door with the number 7 on it. With a hard gulp Josie pushed opened the door…

The room was massive! It almost looked like the lobby of a hotel, hell it even had a pool in the corner of the room and a tank! The room was painted in shades of two-toned moss, the air smelled of perpetual rainfall…and lemon. It was there but didn’t overpower…the temperature was perfect.

In the center of the room were two chairs, a large love-seat sofa and a dark grey armchair. Between them was a white round table with a pitcher of water and three glasses. In the grey armchair….was the doctor they came to see.

“Ah, you must be Josie and Viper. Please come in, have a seat.”

She hesitated but…Josie complied, the love-seat felt like if jelly and clouds got married and had a baby. It was so soft and cool to the touch, best part she didn’t sink it like some other chairs. Viper loved the feeling, hell he could just imagine cuddling up with his girl on this couch watching old sci-fi movies.

“Lets get started, first can you tell me how you met an how long have you two been together?”

Josie paused…then spoke. “Well…Viper an I met via collage..we had the same class, we got paired up and it sorta started from there. We’ve been together for about…two years now.”

“What kind of class were you in?”

“It was a philosophy class, I took it cause I was curious on what made philosophy so damn interesting.” Said Viper.

“I personally took it cause I’ve loved things that sorta question the norm of society. Our project was to listen to one of the stories of Plato, we got ‘The allegory of the cave’ and write our thoughts on the meaning and reasons behind it….those were some of the best nights I ever had.”

Josie never noticed the subtle blush on her cheeks, but that smile she had told the Doctor everything they needed to know, even Viper couldn’t hide his smile.

“You and Viper have a very close relationship I can tell…however the reason why you’re here is not really about the two of you. Its the people around you, mainly family.”

You could almost make out Josie’s heart in her throat, Viper; if he had one, would have been in his as well. Dr.Fortune took a sip of water and…with a sniper-gaze they fixed on Josies eyes.

“I’m going to take a guess, stop me at any time. The problem isn’t with either of you two but from Josie��s family.”

Josie began to chew on her thumbnail, Viper was quick to pull it away as the Doctor continued.

“Your parents I will take are very strict people, perhaps even falling in line with deep religious practices but yet despite saying their ‘devout’ they continue to say and do things that go against the basic principles of their religion. Growing up they saw you as either property or a tool to get what they wanted. If you ever raised your voice in defense of yourself…you were either met with Verbal or Physical violence…”

The Doctor paused, fat tears were cascading down Josie’s face. Her breathing was labor, almost choking on some of her deeper breaths. Viper already had his tendrils wrapping around her in a tight embrace, gently whispering into her ear.

[Klink!]

Josie jumped, looking down she found one of the glasses had been filled with water…with a lemon slice in it. She looked up at the Doctor who was pouring a glass for themself.

“Take a sip, it’ll help.”

She…did feel a little parched, Viper handed her the glass, she took a few small gulps. Blinking she looked into the glass…the water tasted sweet, with the lemon slice it almost had the taste of lemonade but without the sharp zing. She noted how the water almost was coating her throat, soothing the burn forming.

“Like it? Its something I made myself for my patients, I boil distilled water and honey together an let it sit overnight in the fridge then add lemon slices to it. The honey and lemon help soothe your throat while the cold water rehydrates you.”

“Its…really good.” Josie smiled taking another sip. “Everything you said…was right, even the religion part. My parents always treated me like I was some show pony at every gathering, they never listened to me an always thought my problems were just…not worth their time.” Josie rubbed a tear away.

Viper remained quiet but nodded when she was done speaking, Dr. Fortune turned to Viper then.

“An the first meeting with her parents they referred to you as a ‘parasite’ and even went so far as to disown Josie from her own family if she didn’t breakup with you.”

Vipers eyes went wide for a moment before slowly closing…his lips curling back, showing off his razor teeth.

He hissed. “Yes, the moment she finished telling them they started calling her all sorts of nasty things and…even went so far as to say they picked out a husband for her to marry. To be honest I actually knew the guy and he…he’s rich but also a huge dick, he was the biggest bully at my high-school back in the day. When Josie refused…they disowned her and kicked us out on the streets…this was around a month ago…”

Dr.Fortune set their glass down, leaned back in the gray chair with their elbows resting on the armrests…fingers pushed together in a pyramid fashion.

“An since then Josie has received texts and phone calls demanding she breakup with you and marry this ‘dick’ all for the sake of money. I’ve seen this before and its a classic case of narcissism but also a show of parental neglect and abuse.” Doctor Fortuned leaned forward, their gaze turning sharp.

“Josie….for starters you are not the problem, your parents are stuck in a mindset that is outdated and unacceptable. You are not to blame for their disappointment, no you never were. Your parents refused to change their ways and therefore are stuck in the past. However that doesn’t mean you have to, in order to help yourself you need to first cut ties with the ‘parasite’ that is your family. Go completely no contact with them, then once thats done I want you to focus on your relationship with Viper.”

Josie blinked, eyes widening. Cut ties with her family?! How could she do that, this was her family!

“Yes I’m aware your not keen on the idea but…let me ask you something. When has your family ever done anything for ‘you’ out of love an ask for nothing in return?” Josie opened her mouth but….nothing came out…she looked through all her memories…but couldn’t find anything.

“Now…I want you to think about what Viper has done for you, who do you think is more deserving of your time an energy? A family that wants you to marry a jerk for money or the symbiote who from the moment he met you has treated you like the human you are?”

Josie sniffled….they were right, ever since they met; Viper had shown her nothing but compassion, patients and love. Sometimes she felt so guilty about putting him through her crap but…he never complained about it. She rubbed her eyes again, it was time to stop waistline her hard earned time and effort on people who didn’t love her! It was time she spent her energy on Viper and school!

Doctor Fortune smiled, the match was struck and the fire was starting to burn. Now it was time to slowly stoke the coals and make sure they never went cold.

“Your right Doctor….I need to stop waiting my time with those people…I’m thankful they gave birth to me but thats no reason to hold it over my head. I’m…I’m done with them!” Josie slapped her knee, it…it felt really good to say that.

Viper could feel the adrenaline pumping in her, yes there it was, the spunky spitfire he fell for was back an with a vengeance!

“Thats good to hear, but thats just the first step in your road to recovery. I want you to take this a step at a time, in time you may learn to ‘forgive’ your family but don’t you ever, EVER forget what they’ve done to you. If you forget then your just gonna end up falling into their grasp again. On another note as a way to help you cope and give you a extra bit of therapy I suggest taking up a type of hobby. Hobbies can help you gain a sense of control over your life.”

The Doctor paused and looked down at their watch. “Oh, it seems we’re just about done with our session. If you’d like to set up another appointment please see the secretary up at the front desk, before you go is there anything you’d like to ask me?”

Viper looked at Josie, she looked right back at him before turning to the Doctor.

“What kind of hobby should I get?”

Doctor Fortune handed them a small brochure. “Try flipping through this and see if any catch your fancy, my suggestion is find a hobby you two can do together or by yourself; its really all up to you an there are no wrong choices.”

An with that…Josie and Viper left, scheduling another appointment two weeks in advance. As they walk outside Josie looked through the brochure, there were so many hobbies to choose from..

At least she and Viper can choose together.

[I plan to do more couples, I did a Symbiote/human couple to start cause everyone is familiar on what they look like thanks to Venom. I’ll be working on more monster like boyfriends in the future. I hope you like this, I’ll be doing more of this in the future including Yandere couples. This was inspired by @semisolidmind artwork, I also wanna thank @sarabat85 for helping me out as well. My next couple will hopefully be posted very soon and was put together by my closest and dearest friend @eomlotanis who has always helped me with story ideas and character development.]

#fanfic #monster boyfriend #monster

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hansoulo · 4 years ago

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your heart wears night armor

part 9 of ain’t it a gentle sound (the rolling in the graves)

pairing: Horacio Carrillo/f!Reader

word count: 3.7k

warnings: cursing, discussions canon-typical violence and blood, descriptions of religion, catholic imagery, and praying (it’s 2 paragraphs before the first break and you can just scroll past if you’re uncomfortable/don’t care to read it) uhh…, i think that’s it?? light angst but we kinda been knew at this point

gif credit: my soulmate @pascalplease

A/N: @1zashreena1 i owe u and that first day of school ask my life god bless 🙏🙏 set in like 1991 idk time isn’t real

masterlist carrd

Domesticity during war is a curious thing. You’d left your old apartment years ago and a man had moved in beside you, in your new, promoted house, with his young wife and her stomach swollen by pregnancy. You’d smiled and been neighborly. Teased about play-dates and dinner parties and tight-lipped husbands, the way you used to. Had actually gone to a dinner party and admired their blue-edged china, pouring out the woman’s sparkling water as Isabella grabbed at your wrists.

She’d moved out, alone save for her child and one gifted medal. He was very brave, apparently.

You weren’t surprised when a new couple came by a few months later.

So you lived your life, a good life, a happy one, shielded by shoulders and smiles and rough-hewn hands clasped in prayer. Receiving the good favor of a virgin mother, wearing a painted clay veil and balming men’s conscience. Good Catholic boys, who died in the name of a “something” and looked Saint Peter in the eyes when they met him again. Your good, Catholic man. Rosaries and holy water. Unholy blood. Stained cherry glass and crimson hands. Prayers and prayers and prayers, made by mothers and fathers and wives.

You had prayed, once. Had knelt at an altar and let the wood dig into your knees like a penance for a sin you didn’t remember committing but felt guilty for enjoying anyhow. You pleaded for one promise to keep him safe and thanked a nameless saint for your fortune, sated when you heard the slap of your sandals on marble and the echo of all your thoughts in the high, vaulted ceilings.

Guilt is strange. “Healing” in quotation marks is strange. You always hated the way people phrased it, as if one day you’d arrive someplace and get a lacquered button pinned to your shirt pocket reading a congratulations. Dr. Reyes hated it, too, and you’d smiled when she made some long-winded metaphor about journeys and life and cat posters. For now you were content with walking, one hand held and one hand holding, with white-knuckled palm promises and the warm, curled grasp of a child.

⫸ ——— ⫷

You gripped the car keys, feeling them dig into your palm as you tried to brush off the hand on the doorknob. “Horacio,” you let out, frazzled with all the rush of a January morning, anxious and tired from the previous day’s shift. You didn’t need to work today though, thank god . “I can take my own damn daughter to her first day of school.”

His hand left the door, only to snake loosely around your waist. When you only sighed, not pulling away, a rough thumb came to rub at the curve of your jaw and bid your gaze to meet his. She has your eyes, you’d once said. Dark and sloping, edged by black lashes. Bright. Gentle.

“No,” he said, apologetic but resolute. “You can’t.”

“I can,” you repeated weakly to yourself, your own hand starting to loosen its hold around the cold rings of metal. “Horacio,” you whispered, shaking your head as his arms wrapped a bit tighter. “The guards, the- the guns. They scare her.”

His brows knitted together while you spoke, quiet as to not alarm Isabella - now a few months shy of six - sitting by the kitchen counter in a blue school skirt. She didn’t look up from her the contents of her backpack, so you continued. “I’m just- I’m tired, I guess,” you admitted with a small hitch in your voice, examining the angry red indents left in your palms. You let him shift you until you faced away from the door, tucked closer into his chest, and reached to fiddle with the silver buttons of his uniform while you spoke.“It’s bad enough that they’re always outside.”

You looked up to see Isabella clambering off of her chair with a scrape of its legs against your kitchen tiles. It’s first grade, she’d reminded you the night before in hurried Spanish while you brushed her hair, chiding her to sit still. She’d set out her uniform carefully, insisting on brightly colored hair clips and two tight braids. We can’t be late.

Your now-husband squeezed your shoulders and his lips were pursed - not in annoyance, but in concern. “Mi amor,” Horacio began, cupping the base of your neck and squeezing softly. Mi amor, he called you. A love. His love. Saccharine, maybe, to foreign ears but to him, to him it was doctrine. You let out a shallow breath. “It’s too dangerous without them,” Horacio reminded you, the rough pad of his thumb tracing over your lips. “You know that.”

You closed your eyes, nodding into the lingering kiss left on your forehead. “Yeah, I know.” Smoothing away the pretend lint on his collar, you pressed your nose to his jaw before moving to step away, inhaling the soft scent of laundry and sandalwood soap. The arms around you loosened to let you go. “Doesn’t mean I like it though,” you mumbled, attempting petulance but failing when another kiss was placed on your cheek.

“We’ll be with her,” Horacio reminded you, his voice placating in your ear. “And it’s just Trujillo,” he assured. You perked up at the name and laughed when Isabella did likewise, her steps towards the both of you quick and echoing her new school shoes.

“Is he coming?” she asked, repeating the question in English and then Spanish again when neither of you answered quickly enough for her liking. Bouncing on the balls of her heels, Isabella tugged on the fabric of your pants with an urgency that seemed unfit for the slightness of her body. “Is he here? Is he going to drive us?”

You reached to smooth down the loose curls escaping from her braids and looked back behind you for confirmation, pleased to report in the affirmative when Horacio nodded.

She didn’t wait much longer for you to open the door, bounding down your front steps to meet the man now standing by a shelled vehicle, a tanned hand resting on the holster at his hip.

“The Jeep?” you asked, incredulous.

Horacio shrugged. “It’s bulletproof.”

“Right,” you answered slowly, watching Trujillo bend down to give the girl a hug. “And they couldn’t bulletproof, say, a minivan?” Horacio only chuckled, walking you down to the car, and you grew more serious. “Thank you, though. For bringing him, and not the… cavalry, I guess.”

In sunlight, Horacio's eyes were lighter - edged by shadowed rings but pooling in deep, fractured amber. Apologetic. “It’s the least I could do,” he said.

Isabella glanced back towards the both of you and you caught the flash of a cellophane candy wrapper, accompanied by a no le digas a tu mamá when Trujillo slipped it in her pocket. Waving at you with an impish smile, the officer slid into the passenger seat.

“I heard that,” you called out. He raised his eyebrows, declaring his innocence, and said nothing more.

The weather was slow with its languid breezes, blanketing everything in the soft smell of baked clay and clear mountain air. In the distance, the first swells of morning traffic began their course.

Isabella climbed into the car (or tank, depending on who you asked) and helped you buckle her seatbelt. When you turned to meet the back of the man behind you, you heard the girl plead, “Don’t kiss.”

When you asked why, she wrinkled her nose. “It’s gross.”

“You see us kiss all the time,” you replied, handing her her backpack. Horacio’s hand came to pass gently along your waist, a quiet reminder of the openness of the road you now stood on.

Isabella shook her head, the dark braids tumbling beside her rounded cheeks. “It’s still gross.”

“How ‘bout you close your eyes,” you offered, leaning out of the car and hearing your husband’s quiet laugh. Catching Trujillo’s face in the reflection of the side mirrors, you grinned. “I can count down if you want.”

“Promise?” Isabella asked, raising her hands to cover her face.

“Promise,” you answered. “Are they closed? Good, okay on three. Ready? One… two… thr-” but your count was muffled, turning into a soft mmph by a pressing mouth. Horacio’s hands curling around the Jeep doors as you reached to steady yourself on his shoulders. The kiss was chaste, quick and barely a peck, but you still smiled when he pulled away.

Running your tongue along your front teeth, you could taste the slow dilution of orange juice. “You can open them now,” you assured Isabella. The girl peeked out between her fingers and sighed in dramatic relief, letting her arms fall to her sides. “You too,” you said to the officer in the passenger seat. Trujillo only rolled his eyes in mild amusement, his gaze fixed firmly on a point far, far off in the distance.

Horacio pressed his lips against your temple once more before you moved to sit down, waiting until you’d done your own seatbelt to close the car door behind you. His boots scuffed heavy against the stoned street and you spoke to Isabella as he walked to the driver’s side. “One day, y’know, you might actually like kissing.”

She shook her head emphatically, her expression one of exaggerated disgust. “Never. Never ever.”

“Suit yourself,” you responded, moving to face the front windows to see your husband now at the steering wheel, his expression fighting to keep itself stern. “Y’know,” you added in a stage whisper, “your dad’s a very good kisser.”

“Gross!”

⫸ ——— ⫷

“I didn’t cry,” you said, shaking your head as Horacio opened the car door for you a few minutes after the first school bell rang. When he only hummed and Trujillo (now on the driver’s side) let out a barking laugh, you protested. “I didn’t!”

Horacio hid his unconvinced sincerity with a slow nod. You leant against the edge of the door when it shut, its hollow metal hot from the sun underneath your temples. Orange starbursts swam across your vision when you swiped quickly at your face with your knuckles. “I didn’t cry,” you maintained, feeling the rising stuffiness of your throat. “It’s allergies. I’m very- I’m very... pollen-sensitive.”

That was technically true - he'd bought you enough pink antihistamine tablets and tissues enough times to prove it - but you knew it wasn’t the cause of anything now. The reason for your swollen eyes was sitting in a real, grownup chair after two years of preschool and one year of kindergarten, a pencil case filled to the brim with bright, sparkly markers. At school.

The car floor shifted under your feet when your husband turned back towards you, offering the polaroids he’d taken just moments earlier. “Do you want-”

“-yesthankyou-” you exhaled, grabbing the stack of photos from his hands. Spreading them out across your lap, you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. There was one of her getting out of the car… then her walking up to the front entrance... then another of her backpack, then of her shoes and Jesus, how many were there?

You flipped through the rest, scatterbrained and trying to commit every single picture to memory until something prompted your pausing. It was a picture of you.

He must’ve taken it while you weren’t paying attention, oblivious to the camera and turned away, but you were smiling. A bright, blinding smile that seemed to seep pure sunlight through the waxy white paper, up through your fingertips and back towards the swelling of your quickening heartbeat.

“That one,” Horacio said, taking the photograph from you and tucking it into the front pocket of his uniform. “Is for me.”

⫸ ——— ⫷

The engine rolled as the men parked. “Are you sure he’s here?” Javier asked, taking off his aviators to examine the row of terracotta houses, with their red-tile roofs and stucco walls. It was quiet in the mid-morning, temperate and warm. Medellín, the city of eternal spring, was living up to its name.

Steve stuffed his government I.D (the only way they’d gotten through the gate) back into his pocket and adjusted the belt on his hips. “S’worth a shot. Wasn’t at the office, was he?”

“No,” Javier hummed, scanning the street with his arms crossed, his fingers curling into the fabric of his shirtsleeves. “No, he wasn’t.”

Neither of the men seemed to notice the officer parked beside the street, waiting for his colonel to retrieve some forgotten files before returning to the embassy.

They walked closer towards the house, stepping over a small tricycle that lay forgotten on the front lawn. Steve lowered his sunglasses. “You think it’s his?”

A low laugh escaped Javier’s chest and he shook his head, his steps meeting the front door. “Nah, he has a little girl. From his first wife.”

Somewhere in the house footsteps echoed with a soft voice, too muffled to make out anything beyond the fact that it was a woman. Steve looked back towards his partner, perplexed.

“Second wife,” Javier explained before ringing the doorbell. “Never met her, though.”

The steps grew louder until a pause, with the small peephole of the door waxing their reflections. Steve held up his badge again and stepped back when various locks unlatched until the door was opened, creaking quietly on its joints. The first thing they saw was your arms, balancing a precarious stack of plastic toys while you nudged the door farther open with a struggling foot. Steve rushed forward to take some from your hands and you smiled back at him, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Sorry about that,” you breathed, setting the brightly colored books and toys on the floor beside you. “Caught me in the middle of cleaning up.” The men shared a quick look at each other, schooling their expressions from the slight shock created at your appearance. You were pretty and barefoot, sporting marker-stained jeans and a loose t-shirt. If they were expecting anyone, this definitely wasn’t it. “You’re DEA, right?”

Javier cleared his throat, elbowing the man beside him. Steve spoke up after a moment. “Yes ma’am. My name’s Agent Murphy, this man right here is Agent-”

“Oh!” you interrupted with a soft slap of your palm against your forehead, chiding yourself and opening the door farther. “Murphy? And Peña, right?”

They both nodded, albeit slowly, but you seemed impervious to their surprise, asking them if they wanted to come inside. The men declined and remained on the stoop, Steve realizing he still held a small rubber ball in his hands while Javier tried to keep his eyes above the scooped neck of your top.

“Was there something you needed?” you continued, bending down to kick out a rise in your runner carpet. “Horacio’s talked about you sometimes, y’know. It’s nice to actually put a face to the name.”

“Horacio?” Steve mumbled to Javier, his lips curling back in an amused, Southern cadence. A man - Colonel to them, or maybe just Carrillo, but Horacio to you - loomed near the edges of the hallway and turned closer when you spoke, his face and his voice familiar as it called out your name. “Speak of the devil,” the blonde agent whispered.

When you leant back into the man’s chest, both men quickly cleared their throats. Javier’s hands rested at his hips in a cocked stance, watching curiously as the colonel turned to whisper in your ear. The words were too quiet for anyone else to hear but you cast your eyes down, smiling to yourself before he pulled away.

You looked back up, the open brightness of your face only magnified when it was placed beside your husband’s stern posture. “I think they need you,” you reminded him. Javier confirmed this with some big lead about a “La Quica” and you bit back a snort at the nickname, pressing your lips together to hide your laugh. It must’ve been kismet, Javier thought, that brought someone like you to someone like him. Someone, he suddenly remembered, who worked in a hospital, witness and mender to the very things Carrillo caused. The man’s eyes were marginally softer here, though, and his hand lingered light on your waist. So maybe it worked.

“You’ll call later?” you asked, catching a soft grip on the colonel’s wrist when he moved to cross through the door. Steve glanced upwards when lips pressed quickly against your forehead, a quiet “of course” spoken into your hair before he walked away down the front steps.

“Surprised someone like that puts up with you,” Javier ribbed, bemused when Carrillo rolled his eyes.

Steve chuckled as they walked in steady tandem towards the parked cars. “Jealous?”

Javier hummed a casual maybe, catching the faint edge of a smile on your husband’s face when you looked out the front window, your silhouette a shadow through gauzy yellow curtains.

⫸ ——— ⫷

You leaned down to whisper in Isabella’s ear, encouraging her to take the few steps forward through the threshold of the office as she held a tall, disposable coffee cup. The rest that you’d brought were quickly put down before being taken by grateful men, their thanks muffled by the sound of lips on crinkling styrofoam. A man, the man you’d come to see, looked up to see you standing beside his desk, your frame edged by the evening light fracturing through the windows.

“You didn’t walk here, did you?” Horacio asked, his voice and his brow drawn over with concern. You lay a hand on his arm, a quiet placation as you rested your hip on a rounded wooden edge.

“I didn’t,” you glanced at the cluster of men on the other side of the room. You heard Isabella laugh, her small legs swinging back and forth as she was placed in a newly-emptied seat. “Hugo drove me.”

Horacio’s thumb traced over the slope of your wrist. “Hugo?”

“Pimienta,” you finished with another look towards the mass of dark green shoulders. “The new recruit.” Horacio nodded with a quiet I see and you give another smile, too observed to do much more. “He’s very sweet,” you assured your husband, offering a small wave when the man (or boy, more like) looked back towards the both of you. Hugo’s returning grin was awkward, endearingly so, and you bit back a laugh when you caught the embarrassed ducking of his head, his dark skin hiding any rising blush.

He was young, barely out of training and still learning to hide his fear. They all were. Stoic, maybe, when they opened your doors and carried your groceries, but young. So, so young.

You picked up a stray pen, twirling it in your hands as you surveyed his desk. It was annoying neat, and you huffed as you tried to find something more interesting than typed field reports and stacks of manila folders. “No pictures?” you teased. He only pointed to the top corner and your eyes followed, falling on a small frame holding a color photograph. It was mostly of you, but you could see Isabella’s face peeking out of its bottom edge, intruding on the shot with a goofy smile. Her hair was short, curling in dark loops around her ears, so it must’ve been from a few years ago. ‘89, maybe. Yeah, ‘89, when he took that week off in Panama City and spent the whole time trying to teach Isabella how to swim. “That one?” you asked, curious. “I thought you’d want something more… I don’t know… official? Looking?”

He raised an eyebrow, adjusting the frame to its proper place. “Would you like to pose for another one?”

You sucked in a breath through your teeth, remembering the day you had to pin what seemed like fifty military badges to his uniform. “No,” you said, examining the photo and shaking your head. “No, that one’s good.”

Horacio pulled you into the slight alcove of the office, the one filled with high-backed chairs and radio equipment that lay partially hidden from view. “They’re looking,” you mumbled, suddenly more conscious of the officers standing a few feet away. “They think we’re up to something.”

“Are we?” he asked, smiling. A laugh bubbled up in your throat and you shook your head.

“I...” you began, your voice trailing off. He looked tired, and you were reminded of before, when infants used to cry in hallways and walls were thin. “I probably shouldn’t have come but you said you wouldn’t be home and I just- I just wanted…”

He slid his hands up your arms until they rested at your shoulders, hushing you quietly before speaking. The soft skin of your lips fell from between your teeth and you swallowed, the words resting unfinished beneath your sternum.

I just wanted to see you.

While I knew you were here.

While I knew I still could.

His fingers rested heavy on the juncture of your neck, their tapering familiarity smoothing back the ache of knotting muscle. His watch was heavy, a tactical thing with a million little numbers, and its ribbed black straps dragged against the necklace holding your wedding ring. You heard Horacio’s men making conversation - questions in Spanish about Isabella’s school and her favorite colors, compliments on how nice her new shoes looked and that tu madre fue muy dulce al traernos este café - but they floated out of your head, momentary and paling in importance to the way his hands seemed to smooth out every wrinkle of your thoughts, until they lay flat and rubbed back softer with sandpaper fingerprints.

“You never told me why you needed to stay late,” you whispered. He frowned slightly when you noticed the copper blooms dotting the edges of his sleeves, rolled up to rest at his elbows. “Did something happen?”

Horacio’s expression turned softer. Maybe to tamp down your worry. Maybe to try and make you forget it completely. He was like that with you. More gentle. Earnest. One hand raised to cup your jaw. “Nothing bad,” he said, shaking his head at your widened eyes, their color glassy from the fluorescence of office lamps.

“Promise?” you asked, wavering an echo of a morning’s conversation.

He straightened out, an oak to wrapping, shaded ivy. “Promise.”

#LET'S GET ITTTTT (after like almost two months oof)#horacio carrillo #horacio carrillo x reader #horacio carrillo x you #horacio carrillo/reader #horacio carrillo fanfiction #narcos fanfiction

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readingsbylibramc · 4 years ago

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birth chart reading for @1uvbots

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominant planets

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are uranus, pluto and mercury. you're a very intelligent individual, you have very innovative ideas and perspectives that make you some sort of genius, you're probably very logical. you could also experience lots of karma throughout your life, that will be followed by a deep transformation that will help you grow up and become more mature.

your dominant sign is sagittarius. you have an amazing sense of humor, your personality is so bubbly that it naturally draws people towards you. you're also extremely open-minded, you rarely have prejudices. you have a knack for spirituality, religion, philosophy... anything that can stimulate you mentally.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in taurus, 4° / 1st decan ruled by venus

taurus is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. therefore, you’re probably very attractive, even if not conventionally. taurus risings usually come off as introverted and shy, you’re probably not much talkative. you’re an homebody, you prefer staying at home reading a good book instead of going out and partying, even though you don’t despise hanging out with your friends either. basically, you’d rather watch a movie with them than going to the disco, for example. you’re a very patient and cautious person; because of that, you may considered slow, and it may be true, especially in your movements. yet, you just like thinking deeply about a decision, even if it’s just about what to eat for dinner. you don’t want to have regrets. you may also be quite materialistic, and hence you’re extremely careful to how you spend your money. you don’t want to be a burden to someone else, in fact you most likely used to feel guilty to ask your parents for money when you were younger. you’d rather be independent. usually, taurus placements are quite egotistic, but I don’t think it’s your case. your heavy sagittarius energy points out the opposite; you’re careful to who’re you generous with, but you’re not selfish. you don’t fancy flaky, insignificant relationships. you prefer having long-lasting and intense bonds, you don’t have time to waste. you’re particularly loyal, but you could become too possessive and possibly controlling of your partners or friends. you’re probably not very flexible in life, since taurus is a fixed sign; you’re particularly fond of routine, or at least way more than the typical sagittarius, and you don’t like changing it out too often. it’s hard for you to adapt to changes, so you’d rather avoid them at all. taurus risings tend to have a very youthful vibe to them, and they’re usually more on the shorter side, or at least average. I’ve also noticed that they tend to have naturally straight and silky hair, even though this may vary due to your strong sagittarius energy. nonetheless, it’s still thick and good-looking. it looks very healthy, even if you may barely take care of it. your eyes may be big or at least of average size, and they’re usually hooded, almond-shaped with naturally long lashes. your nose could be a button shape or a french nose but, even if it’s not, it still goes very well with your overall face. your lips are most likely full, even if not necessarily plump. you may also have a defined, distinctive cupid’s bow. last but not least, you may be of average height, and your body may be more on the curvaceous side. you could have an hourglass body shape, a wide forehead, wide shoulders / hips, wide lips... basically, everything is more on the horizontal side.

🌞 sun in sagittarius, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

in life, you strive for freedom and independency. you are an extremely wise person, and you believe strongly in your beliefs. you rarely change your mind, but most of the time you’re an open-minded person. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. you may also be attracted to foreign things, such as foreign literature, fashion, art, music etc. it’s another way to travel and open your mind, without actually having to leave your house when you’re busy. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re very outgoing, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. in fact, you have a shy side to you that makes you more secretive, regardless of your friendliness, since your sagittarius sun is conjunct your sagittarius pluto.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy sagittarius dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and the same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your venus squaring the ascendant. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

sagittarius sun opposite gemini saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius pluto: this placement gives you scorpio traits; in fact, you may as well relate to the scorpio description. you are more secretive and reserved than the typical sagittarius, you may rage when angry but you generally try to be cautios rather than impulsive. for example, if you have to make a choice, you prefer thinking about it rather than throwing yourself into it. you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others, or at least you don't mind spending time by yourself. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much.

🌙 moon in libra, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

the most romantic and affectionate libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

libra moon square cancer jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, when it comes to expressing your emotions. you could be too impulsive, for example. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your scorpio rising.

🗣 mercury in sagittarius, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you say things impulsively, you're bluntly honest, and this could often hurt people around you. in addition, you like having the last word, despite being proven wrong sometimes. you have a knack for wisdom, you love being and looking smart. you're the type to spend the whole day reading and analyzing philosophical quotes and then make them your own, applying them to your life. you want to be and feel experienced, hence you may inform yourself about a variety of topics just for the sake of knowing them, perhaps you're not even that much interested in them. you could go from talking about politics to astrology, your mind is quite messy but still very full. you may possibly have a youthful voice, and sometimes you can speak in a loud volume without even realizing it. you may also exaggerate your words a lot, for example you might have got a single scratch on your cheek and call it a gash. you could possibly also be the type to joke over your own feelings, and then obviously get mad at others when they do the same with you.

sagittarius mercury conjunct sagittarius pluto: again, this is another placement that gives you scorpio influence. you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 9° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus opposite gemini saturn: you feel unable to love someone. this placement usually brings fear of committing, causing the individual to be flaky. there are two possibilities; I assume you directly avoid to get into relationships. your mind may unconsciously repress any thought about an eventual crush or love interest. it is caused by your insecurity, especially regarding your looks. or perhaps, it’s the other way around: you literally jump into relationships, resulting in you getting hurt from time to time. you could feel pressured to be in a relationship by society, even though it’s not your priority. this is something that is mainly caused by insecurity, whether you realize it or not, even though it's something that will get better with time, especially since you have a stellium in the independent sagittarius. don’t be afraid of not being enough, because you are. but if you don’t realize it first, others won’t. you have to be your own healer, you’re totally capable of doing that.

sagittarius venus conjunct sagittarius pluto: love is very important in your life, even though you may not realize it at first. loving someone could possibly make you come across challenges, but that will only help you to become a stronger, more mature individual. you love intensely, you're most probably kind of possessive of your partners, yet you don't want your partner to be jealous of you. it's quite inconsistent, but you can't control it. you may often date karmic partners, that is people from your past lives that are here to teach you a few lessons, most probably regarding marriage or self-love. in fact, it may not be uncommon to fall for someone and viceversa; there's instant attraction, it may even seem like a soulmate meeting. again, with low self-esteem, this placement could possibly make you a martyr. most of the times, you don't realize it when someone is hurting you. you endure relationships that are obviously bad for your mental or even physical health. you could attract overpossessive, abusive partners that are a serious threat to your vitality. possibly, you may even find yourself hanging around people who do drugs and have some sort of addiction. or perhaps, they could become addicted to you. with this placement is vital to learn how to love yourself. you need to be careful and stand up for yourself, or your love relationships may not be very smooth.

☄️ mars in pisces, 1° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

you go with the flow. even though your taurus ascendant makes you want to be organized and stable, your pisces mars does the opposite. in fact, you rely a lot on your intuition rather than logic. this may make you appear as submissive, sometimes, as if you can’t stand up for yourself. you’re actually a very spiritual person though, who thinks deeply before acting. you’re not extremely impulsive, you’re aware of your actions, but at the same time you’re ready for eventual changes in your schedule/routine. you have no problems improvising, you’re very versatile. the problem is, you may rely so much on your intuition that you don’t take action. you’re the type to fantasize about being a better person, rather than trying to become one. you may also have the tendency to be passive-aggressive and avoid problems; you may prefer being cold to someone rather than trying to work your argument out. yet, I assume that when you lose your temper, you have no problems saying what you truly think.

pisces mars square gemini saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in taurus. you have a slow, cautious approach to the world. you don’t like rushing things, you prefer taking your time on any decision you make, it doesn’t matter whether it’s about what to wear or even about your future career. you’re fond of arts, creativity and self-expression in general, and people may actually know you for your creativity. combined with your sagittarius sun, you may even seem alternative, or at least you catch others' attention. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 8th house: your life is oriented towards experiences and earning money. you probably love having deep, meaningful bonds with others, and you could also be quite picky in choosing your friends. you may be interested in the the occult and spiritual matters, like tarots, astrology, etc. you probably ask yourself about the meaning of existence a lot, for example, you’re constantly looking for the truth. above all, you love learning about yourself, and that also explains why you decided to book a reading.

your 2nd house is in gemini, with also saturn placed in this house. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re most likely faster than the typical taurus rising, and you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could also make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. saturn in this house could represent issues regarding your self-esteem, and maybe also with your finances. it could be that you're quite sensitive of others' opinion of you, or maybe you feel the need to be perfect. because of that, you could constantly feel ugly or uncapable, you're quite insecure. you could have even bullied. or perhaps, these hardships manifest into your financial life; you may come from a poor family, or maybe you struggle to earn money yourself. you could face hardships finding a job, or you may have troubles managing your finances. or maybe, it's the other way around; you could be quite wealthy, and because of that, people may often get intimidated by that. you could easily come off as vain, or maybe you just attract others' jealousy. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 8th house: you may earn money through occult topics, you could be particularly skilled at them. you may also earn money thanks to an inheritance for example, or just thanks to other people in general. you could as well make money from psychology, or maybe you could become an agent, a detective... anything that allows you to serve someone else at work but that still allows you to earn a good amount of money.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you felt so pressured to meet their expectations that you became insecure about your abilities. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. you could, for example, write very personal poetry or books, you can’t help but tune in all of your feelings when you express yourself through words. you also have jupiter placed in this house; this placement indicates that your luck and furtune reside in your intellect, in your words. you're probablt very intelligent and witty, and using your clever mind is the best way for you to make fortune in life. you could choose a career that includes some sort of mental stimulation, for instance you could become a professor. you could as well do well at communicating and writing; as a matter of fact, this is also a nice placement for a writer, a singer, a translator... anything that needs the usage of words. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 6th house: this is a placement that indicates that you’ll have to communicate with others in your future career. or maybe, you might write stuff, hence you could be a writer, a journalist, etc. possibly, you would do well as a therapist too. also, you could often have to do short trips to reach your college / work place, perhaps in a bus for example.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure they let you have everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent. it could be that someone in your family was absent or hard to understand, mentally speaking. or maybe, they were actually physically absent, and hence you may have divorced parents for example. there were many power struggles, you could have strict parents that didn't allow you to fully live your life, but aside from that I don't see any kind of trauma. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 8th house: you could come from a possibly wealthy family, or perhaps you have quite of a secretive family. they may not go out too often, you may not like inviting people over for example. also, your family could have received an inheritance, or perhaps you're the one who's going to receive an inheritance from your family.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. the ruler of the 5th house is in the 8th house: your hobbies involve occult topics, such as astrology, tarots, horror etc. you probably also love spending your spare time by yourself. you’re quite of a loner, from this point of view, and you may possibly feel sad about it.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. the moon is also in the 6th house; that means that you feel the need to be productive to feel at ease. you still enjoy your spare time, but it's necessary for you to be organized, you probably like making lists and / or schedules. also, you need a job that emotionally connects with you; you need to feel alive and comfortable while working, you probably wouldn't stand doing something that you don't like as a job. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 8th house: your job will most likely involve social interactions of some sort. you’ll probably have to interact with others, and you may also have to work with others’ secrets or finances. you could become a therapist for example, a detective, or even work in a bank. you could also be a bit secretive about your career or around your co-workers, you may often be in a bad relationship with them, but the presence of libra in the 6th house manages to mitigate any maliciousness.

your 7th house is in scorpio. you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract 'broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… in addition, your venus also makes harsh aspects; that indicates that you may often experience power struggles, you may attract dominating partners or just people in general. your relationships, they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. the ruler of the 7th house is in the 8th house: you may meet your future spouse at your workplace. they could be quite spiritual, and they may actually be one of your soulmates, you might've already met in another life. you could also keep your marriage secret, or you're going to marry someone very secretive and modest, someone with scorpio traits / placements basically.

your 8th house is in sagittarius and the sun, mercury, pluto and venus are also placed here in a stellium. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them, especially with also mercury being in this house. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you’re most likely interested in them, and you may work in a field related to these topics, for example you may become a criminologist, a detective, a psychologist etc. you could also experience lots of karma in your life; that is, if you’re mean to someone, then others will be mean to you too. try to always do your best, the universe will surely appreciate that. venus here makes you extremely charismatic; you probably have a very striking vibe to you, you’re actually quite intimidating. yet, while this placement makes you extremely alluring and attractive, you could also attract jealousy from others very easily. in the worst case, people may even try to sabotage you. last but not least, you could have strong feelings, but you probably struggle to let them all out. you may be bad at public-speaking, you're overall quite secretive, you don't mind being by yourself. the good thing about 8th house is that, while you suffer, you also transform and grow up to learn from your mistakes. therefore, having an 8th house stellium isn't a curse like other astrologers say. the ruler of the 8th house is in the 3rd house: your self-growth process happens when you’re able to stay by yourself and explore your own mind, you probably think a lot. you also love learning about psychology in general, spirituality, etc. actually, you may even be skilled at reading tarots, birth charts, or at least you have the potential to be good at it.

your 9th house is in capricorn. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. you’re most likely extremely curious about anything the world has to offer. you want to make new experiences and adventures, you want to find out anything about other cultures, places, etc. to open your mind and gain some new knowledge. you probably love travelling, and you may have quite a few dream destinations to visit. the 9th house is also about higher education, and hence you’re probably successful at school. you most likely enjoy studying, and you could get more than one degree actually. or perhaps, you got to study different subjects before choosing your final university, you were quite indecisive at first. with the ruler of the 9th house in the 2nd house, I repeat that you could do extremely well as a teacher / professor! in fact, this placement indicates that you may earn good money from school / university, or perhaps even writing books, poetry and philosophy yourself. you may also earn money abroad or thanks to foreigners, hence you could become a translator, an interpreter, a stewardess... anything that allows you to speak foreign languages or interact with people that aren't from your country.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your neptune and uranus placed there. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. neptune is also your most elevated; it could take you some time at first to be recognized for your efforts. you may easily experience 'almost-winner’ situation, and hence you could often make silly mistakes that ruin your work. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you'll earn a reputation for being an extremely healing person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you'll probably focus your life on self-expression, as well as helping people in need.

your 11th house is in pisces, with also mars sitting in this house. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them. it’s what your life revolves around, after all. mars here makes you resolute to work hard and achieve your goals, you're more motivated to make your dreams come true with this placement. you probably also care a lot about your friends; even though you may argue a bit, their presence in your life is still very fundamental for you, they're most likely the ones to bring fun and adventure in your life. with the ruler of the 11th house being in the 10th house, your future career may actually be a long-term dream or goal of yours. for example, let’s suppose you’ve always wanted to be a writer when you were younger; this placement indicates that you can actually become one if you work on it. you may also work with your friends, or find your friends at your job place. you could also get popular or even famous for your career.

lastly, your 12th house is in aries. there’s this side of you that is very bold and daring, but you struggle to let it out. it’s hidden in you, and you only show this side of yourself to those who can understand you. you’re also extremely scared of physical violence, like rape, fights, wars… they’re probably your deepest fears. the ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th house: I feel like you may often come across conflicts in your friendships. your friends may often lie to you, you could often feel as if you'll never find someone that truly vibes with you, and if you do, you still have some trust issues. probably, it's caused by the fact that your friends could have been a part of some past life of yours, and hence they are bascially bringing you karma to deal with, you may have to face your karmic debts when you're with them.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract scorpio, virgo and leo placements and / or traits. your future spouse will most likely have virgo and leo traits; they’ll be extremely hard-working and precise in what they do, they care about their work and also about their physical aspect. yet, they’ll also have a warm, playful, almost childish vibe to them that will make you feel like a teenager again. most likely, you may meet them at your workplace. they’ll also most likely have something to do with spirituality. they could be religious or spiritual, or at least they’re interested in darker topics. you may actually be soulmates. they’ll also be very open-minded and sexual, probably older than you. your children will have virgo and gemini traits as well: they’ll be extremely intelligent and witty, maybe a bit too paranoid, but also very fond of their parents, especially of you. they’ll love playing around, but thanks to virgo they won’t be immature.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite selfish. she may have leo placements, or any fire placement in general, maybe also scorpio. your father is a bit colder than your mother, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of air/capricorn placement in his chart. he could also be a leo or a pisces. he could have been a bit absent throughout your life, but your chart points out that it was nothing serious. yet, your father could still be a bit moody and / or unpredictable, and he may also have some addictions. if you have siblings, they’re probably cancers/water signs or sagittarius. if you’re the elder sibling, you probably used to take care of them to help your mother. on the other hand, if you’re younger, than your siblings were the ones who nurtured you with your parents. your childhood might have been confusing, probably filled with unpredictable, intense and transforming events. your parents may be divorced, or their different personalities confused you, as you didn’t know whose morals were the best to adopt. you may find yourself coping with this problem through work, maybe even overworking yourself.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you could work abroad, or at least with different languages/cultures. you’re naturally talented in this field, it would be a shame to overlook it. you also most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re also very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well as a psychologist or even as a detective! you’re very intuitive and observant, but also logical and rational. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your venusian imagination.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, you probably didn’t have as many challenges as in this life. you most likely used to depend on someone else; perhaps, you married someone rich, hence you didn’t really have to work for your resources. this lifetime, you need to step up your game and become independent. your path to luck and abundance may be long and steep, but your north node being in the 2nd house, the house of money and self-esteem, indicates that you may achieve great personal success in this lifetime. you just need to work on your self-esteem and have stable finances, you shouldn’t over-indulge. to boost your security, you could try using loa, as well as the advices I gave you above.

🤔 major transits analysis / november 12th

soon transit uranus in your 1st house is going to be opposite your natal pluto. that means that you something very unexpected could happen to you, especially regarding your appearance, and that will completely change the way you see things and others and viceversa. also, this month’s focus is mostly on your health and then your social life. when the sun enters sagittarius though, you’ll be spending more time alone, maybe thinking about your family, friends and / or lovers, and also about your feelings. it will be a great month for your spiritual self.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with u :)

#astrology

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tserofweald · 5 years ago

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My Dalish Warden headcanons

I journal my headcanons about my Dalish Warden Atheline Mahariel, but my hand is seriously giving out on the heavy writing. I have two other characters in development, Lethel Lavellan (she’s the first one I worked on).

This is for the sake of documenting my current development of Mahariel, and I apologize if I get any of the DA lore wrong :) They’re not really headcanons but more so going over my characterization of Mahariel.

Atheline Mahariel, Athy for short to her friends. She was 20 years old at the beginning of the Fifth Blight. She’s a warrior specializing in two-handed weapons.

She’s stupid strong despite her short stature even for an elf. She’s very careless in battle and is the one to set off all the traps during combat. Zevran literally trains his ass off to up his lockpicking skills to disengage all traps beforehand.

She and Zevran eventually get into a friends with benefit relationship. She had never experienced sex, and was never really interested in it until getting to know Zevran. She was pretty eager to give it a go, and really enjoyed it with him.

Though Zevran was really on the idea of them just being friends with intimacy involved, Atheline had developed special feelings for him, though she didn’t really understand that she had those feelings at the time. She was satisfied with keeping things between them as just “friends.”

Atheline wanted to explore her sexual experience more through sleeping with other people. Though she was definitely satisfied at the Pearl, she ended up reserving this space solely for Zevran. She didn’t understand why, but she felt some sort of a spark with Zevran but none with her other encounters (later on, she realizes it’s because she loved him).

Though she reserves herself to engage sexually only with Zevran, she didn’t mind Zevran engaging with others than herself.

Atheline is proud of her Dalish heritage, but not in the sense Lavellan is. My Lavellan is interested in uncovering the truth of elven lore/history, whereas Atheline focuses more on her people standing up against slavery enforced by Tevinter. She takes the most pride in her people’s bravery and fortitude, fighting against forced human religion and exploit, knowing the consequences.

Atheline was initially not a religious person. She didn’t really care to pray to the Creators, for she knew they wouldn’t be able to hear her prayers. But when Tamlen went missing and she had to enter the shem world as a Grey Warden, she prayed relentlessly to Mythal and Andruil for guidance.

She got the same Vallaslin as Tamlen and didn’t put much thought into actually picking a god to draw strength from. No matter what god it represents, a Vallaslin is a Vallaslin, right?

The biggest value she learns from her culture is creating a close, familial connection with everyone in the clan. This is why Mahariel is so well accustomed to welcoming anyone who wanted to join her in her journey. She was able to create deep, personal bonds very quickly and easily with those around her.

Keeper Marethari also taught her clan that yes, learning more about their elven past is important, and they should continue to find supporting artifacts that’d expand their knowledge, but no knowledge is at the cost of a clansman. Safety and well being of individuals came first. Atheline really took that to heart, though she’d often forget this lesson in place for dangerous adventures.

Despite her deep love for her clan, she also craved adventures beyond the forest. She wanted to know what the world was like beyond the Dalish, beyond the elves. She’d sometimes sneak out of camp with Tamlen and Merrill to visit a nearby village. There’d be a summer festival, with food, music and dancing. She was so intrigued to see human traditions. Tamlen would tease she’s gonna become one of the “flat-ears.” They’d regularly sneak out to nearby villages every time the camp relocated, though Ashalle had caught them at some point and scolded them for it.

Mahariel never thought she’d be “adventuring” in the outside world at the cost of Tamlen’s life and feels guilty for becoming a Grey Warden. Why was she saved in place of him?

Tamlen and Mahariel were best friends since birth, and they met Merrill when they were 10 years old. While Merrill was timid and strict with herself as she was the clan’s First, Tamlen and Mahariel would try and help her relax and engage in fun stuff together. Tamlen and Atheline would invite Merrill out on hunting together, and the two hunters would compete who had the best kill. Merrill would be the mediator during these competitions.

When entering their teen years, Merrill and Tamlen began having romantic feelings for Atheline. Merrill and Tamlen knew that they shared mutual feelings for Mahariel, and thus their relationship became strained and distant because of it.

Merrill stopped joining in on sneaking into villages with the duo, for she felt that her relationship with them were weaker than the bond between Tamlen and Atheline. She slowly continued to distance herself from the two, and eventually Atheline confronted her about it. Merrill simply says she wanted to focus more on her training as the next Keeper, and that she shouldn’t let such distractions keep her from her studies.

“That’s bullshit, Merr. What are you doing pulling on Fenharel’s dick for? I’m sorry if I did anything to upset you, but I can’t change if you don’t tell me.”

“It’s because I’m in love with you, you twat!”

And there it is, Merrill blurted out the one fear she had, loving Mahariel, loving another woman. In my hc because there aren’t many Dalish people who can preserve the elven gift left by their ancestors (magic), having Merrill was a miraculous gift to the clan. And to keep the old magic alive in the clan, Merrill is expected to produce another bearer of magic. Being with another woman was not an option for Merrill. Merrill not only distanced herself because she knew how Tamlen felt and thought that she had no chance with Mahariel, but she also knew that her clan would never let her be with Mahariel.

On Atheline’s part, I would like to think that she had feelings for Tamlen but was too late to realize it. She didn’t understand her feelings and was never really bothered to understand them, other than the fact that she cared really deeply for him, but she didn’t think it was any different from how she felt about Merrill (which is why she has a hard time understanding how she feels for Zevran). Atheline ends up rejecting Merrill’s confession, saying that she doesn’t feel the same way, but she always cares about her as a friend. This breaks Merrill’s heart and asks Mahariel if she’d instead be with Tamlen, to which Atheline doesn’t reply because she doesn’t know how to. Merrill and Atheline’s relationship become pretty strained because of it (this will be around the time Dalish origins starts).

Atheline only realizes her feelings when she sees Tamlen as a ghoul and when she was forced to kill him.

Sadly, Tamlen and Atheline never discussed about his feelings for her. She wasn’t clueless; she knew he had something to say, but he’d just treat her the same as how he always had, and with how it ended with Merrill, she didn’t have the heart to force an answer out of Tamlen either. If he had confessed to her, she wouldn’t have known what to do. Reject him like how she rejected Merrill? Ruin the brotherhood they had together because she couldn’t sort out her feelings?

Tamlen knew how Atheline felt, which was why he decided not to speak to her about it. And they would never speak about it until he reappears into her life as a ghoul.

“Always…loved you…”

Tamlen and Atheline wanted to go into the cave to find anything interesting to bring back to Merrill in hopes of mending their friendships, for they knew that Merrill was always delighted to discover new elven artifacts. They thought they could do the same with the mirror.

When Atheline becomes a Grey Warden, she didn’t give up on searching for Tamlen. She made it her life mission and commitment to find him and save him. She didn’t believe Duncan and the clan when they said that Tamlen is dead. She found no body. He must be alive. And he was.

She blames herself when Tamlen goes missing. She had let her arrogance and thirst for adventure get the better of her. The Dread Wolf had guided her this entire time. She blamed herself for Merrill’s heartbreak, for Tamlen’s unrequited feelings, and for the torture he must be going through with the taint.

Because of this, she becomes extremely protective of her party members during combat. She lets no one step into an unknown area until she examines it first. She’d take an arrow for her teammates when she can, causing her to take on the most injury out of the party. She’d tank her way through it if it meant letting her friends go unharmed.

Many of her companions thought she was arrogant and condescending because of her “I can do it myself” attitude, but when she takes that first hit for a companion, they realize it’s because she’s terrified of having any one of them injured.

It was finally during the trials to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes when Atheline finally accepts the idea of Tamlen being gone. It was when the spirit had taken the form of Tamlen and had said, “Goodbye, my friend. We will never meet again.” That she finally let herself think that it’s okay to forgive herself for this tragedy.

But then he comes back. He comes back and she can’t save him. She regretted not telling him how she felt. She regretted letting him die without telling him how sorry she was she took too long to realize her feelings.

She does him one last favor and kills him instantly so that she may end his pain. She only feels empty. Alistair is the first to ask if she’s alright, that this was the only way and that it had been a mercy to him. She just wanted him to shut up.

Mahariel goes into the forest by herself, with Tamlen’s body in her arms, wanting to give him a proper Dalish burial.

Zevran followed her into the forest, and with not a single word, helps her bury Tamlen. She allowed herself to sob and cry relentlessly, and Zevran would simply wrap his arms around her.

After recovering from Tamlen’s death, she confesses to Zevran that she loves him out of the blues, completely startling Zevran and him rejecting her confession outright because an assassin cannot love.

“And that’s fine. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean you need to love them back. You don’t have to do anything at all, really. But I don’t want to make the same mistake I did with Tamlen. I love you, and that’s all there’s to it.”

This completely flusters Zevran and he has no idea what to do with it. He’s been growing fondly of her day after day and had become even more protective of her, but to have her tell him outright that she loves him is just….weird. Incomprehensible.

#dragonage #dao #mahariel #tamlen #merrill #grey warden #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age origins #dragon age awakening #zevran romance

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chiseler · 6 years ago

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The Madness of Ken Russell

Critical thinking in Britain has always taken the view that Ken Russell was a wild, ill-disciplined talent who ultimately went artistically mad: this was also the view in the film industry. The only major disagreement was about when he went from being merely excessive to being balls-out crazy: different parties chose different tipping points.

(WAIT! WHO CARES ABOUT CRITICS?)

(Bear with me: in Russell’s case, the critical consensus serves as a valuable reverse barometer.)

Russell, a suburban boy, former merchant seaman and Catholic convert, made a few brilliant short films with his wife and fellow genius, costume designer Shirley Russell, before landing a job at the BBC’s flagship arts program, Monitor. His stint here taught him to fight, and placed him under the stern patronage of producer Huw Weldon, probably the only authority figure he ever respected. Many good fights were enjoyed. When Russell joined the program, there was an absolute ban on dramatization and re-enactment: the most he was allowed was to show a composer’s hands at the piano. By the time he finished up on the show, he’d managed to twist it out of shape to the point where he’d been allowed to make complete dramatic works in the guise of documentary. These TV plays are highly cinematic, kinetic and bold: like Kubrick, Russell had a love of both stark symmetry and dynamic movement. Control and its opposite.

Russell found actors he liked, including Oliver Reed, with whom he enjoyed a strange kinship: both were heavy drinkers, both affected a casual attitude to their work, though Russell was never ashamed to call himself an artist. Ollie became the John Wayne to Russell’s Ford (in a roiling, nightmare vision of classical cinema).

The point when Russell moved out of TV is the first moment his detractors choose to mark his decline into self-indulgent craziness. He made a modest, eccentric comedy, French Dressing (with mounds of inflatable girls piled up like Holocaust victims) and a wild, idiosyncratic spy movie, The Billion Dollar Brain, a Russophile anti-Bond movie full of flip humor and Eisenstein homages. Critics saw these films as work-for-hire, as perhaps they were, and largely discount them. They are quite brilliant.

Women in Love is counted by others as the last pre-madness film, and its relative sanity can be attributed to the control exerted by its writer-producer Larry Kramer. Russell’s excesses are held in check, it is argued, and the tension between its creators was productive. It’s a very good film, but I find it too sedate in places, though the vivid color and Shirley Russell’s bold designs, and some scenes of genuine wildness and invention stave off actual boredom.

The Music Lovers, his dream project, expanding the TV composer film to the big screen and color, is where a real case for craziness begins to be made: the choice to explore Tchaikovsky’s homosexuality now seems mature rather than lurid, but Ken is undeniably pushing the biopic into unfamiliar terrain: fantasies of decapitation by cannon-shot, a filthy madhouse, a demented honeymoon on a train rocking like the Starship Enterprise, complete with crotch shots. Maybe even worse, from the critics’ viewpoint, Russell, who had directed one TV commercial before walking away from that business in disgust, co-opted the visual language of the shampoo commercial to depict the images conjured by the composer’s music. Russell was in love with romanticism but saw through it too. Ironically, the filmmaker constantly castigated for unsubtlety injected an irony into the film that critics missed, taking the soppiness at face value and not seeing how the concealed satire blended perfectly with the overt caricature and phantasmagoric visions.

Still, the subject was respectable, but with The Devils, Russell managed a film maudit that took decades to be reappraised, and earned him criticism of a uniquely vociferous sort, admittedly in keeping with the hysteria of the film itself. An account – or channelling – of a 16th Century witchcraft trial in France, the movie didn’t so much push as cremate the envelope as far as sex, violence and blasphemy were concerned: Russell, who had converted to Catholicism in his youth, lost his faith while making this one, converting to an animist worship of the Lake District, a religion of his own devising. Well, he did have a substantial ego.

Russell was upsetting: apart from the torture, abuse and madness, the film threw in discordant tonal shifts, creative anachronisms and deployed all of his cinematic influences, which prominently featured Orson Welles, Fellini, Fritz Lang’s German silents, and the musicals of Busby Berkeley, which supplied the top-shots used to depict the rape of Christ on the cross, a scene cut by the censor and lovingly preserved by the director for a future restoration, still explicitly forbidden by the film’s backers, Warner Brothers.

Asides from his crisis of faith and crises in his marriage and his dealings with the studio, Russell was also knocking back the wine. “Better before lunch,” was his prop man’s characterization of the director. Production designer Derek Jarman recounted Russell asking him, “What can I do that’ll really offend the British public?” “Well you could kill a lot of people,” mused Jarman, “but if you really want to upset them you could kill some animals.” A plan was then devised to have King Louis with a musket blowing the heads off the peacocks on his lawn: the birds were to be fitted with explosives at the neck, like Snake Plissken, but Russell backed away from this extreme, even by his standards, approach, and instead had the target practice performed with a man dressed as a blackbird, and the King saying “Bye-bye, blackbird,” and Peter Maxwell-Davies’ remarkable score quoting the popular twenties song, and that infuriated the critics just as much as actual bird-blasting would have.

Less amusingly, Russell was also guilty of unsafe practices involving the naked girls and rowdy extras: the stories here get really dark. As does the film: a demented masterpiece that shows Russell for once engaging with the political: a film about corruption that uses physical disintegration alongside social and spiritual rot.

Just to confuse us even more, Russell made The Boy Friend the same year, an epic music and a miniature at the same time, allowing him to recreate Busby Berkeley’s pixilated fantasias in a seedy English theater. It’s light and charming, but Russell’s version of these qualities was not recognized by the critics, and it’s true that his wit is clodhopping, his whimsy grotesque, everything is overplayed, in your face: but you have to climb aboard the film, get into its spirit, and then it really is a very lovely reversal of the usual nightmare.

The seventies brought more composer films, Mahler and Lisztomania, and also the rock opera Tommy, which earned Russell slightly better reviews as his boisterousness was judged more in keeping with the material (critics, it seemed, could not stand the idea of a filmmaker responding to classical music for its passion and energy, its rock ‘n’ roll qualities, rather than for its assumed civilising effect). Russell got away with showing Ann-Margret humping her cushions while slathered in feculent chocolate sauce, shot Tina Turner with a 6mm lens to uglify her as she thrashed around a steel sarcophagus studded with hypos, and put Elton John on ten-foot platform shoes.

Lisztomania is another movie that’s seen as marking the decline into lunacy: its producer, David Puttnam, hugely impressed by Russell’s flare and his ability to shoot Mahler after half the budget fell through, felt that ultimately the relentless negative press knocked his enfant terrible off-balance. Instead of rolling over in submission, Russell perversely doubled down on the excess and became a parody of himself. And he had already been a parody to begin with (but a parody without an original, unless we take him as a combined burlesque of all his cinematic influences). I’ve always adored Lisztomania, which knows it’s going too far, knows its japes and conceits are ludicrous and indefensible, knows it can’t get away with Roger Daltrey as Liszt and Ringo Starr as the Pope. And just. Doesn’t. Care.

Valentino, which marked the end of the Russell marriage (there would be a bunch more), was dismissed by Russell as the fag-end of his first British period, “everything about it was bored and boring, including me,” but it’s actually rather good. Nureyev as Valentino (well, he was used to being called Rudolph), Russell as Rex Ingram wielding a megaphone the size of a cannon. The twenties, as lived by Rambova, Dorothy Arzner, Fatty Arbuckle, or as dreamt by Mad Ken.

Russell had made his career in Britain at a time when the industry was in collapse: he largely missed the explosion of energy that marked Swinging London, the British new wave, and the only kitchen sink he liked was the one he was always throwing in. Now, the domestic business seemed to have expired of ennui, senile dementia and blood poisoning, but Hollywood beckoned. Russell was bottom of a long list of directors who all turned down Paddy Chayefsky’s Altered States, a late-mid-life crisis film about sensory deprivation tanks and psychedelics which takes John C. Lilley and fuses him with Dr. Jekyll. Russell took it on despite being forbidden from changing a line of dialogue, but got his revenge by having his actors speak fast -- like Jimmy Cagney fast, not so much throwing away their lines as firing them like tennis balls. And by having them eat at the same time. And by expanding the hallucination sequences until they took over the movie, so that they were all anyone talked about. Druggie audiences would hang out into the lobby, Russell gleefully reported, posting a sentry in the auditorium who would yell “Hallucination!” whenever one was starting, and everyone would rush back in to get a hit of audiovisual delirium.

A bit like Women in Love, Altered States benefited from the creative clash between director and writer (who took his name off the script in protest at Russell’s backhanded fidelity), but the reaction among respectable types was mainly a theatrical eye-roll: the maniac was up to his old tricks. Crimes of Passion, starring Kathleen Turner and Anthony Perkins, was next, with she as a Belle de Jour career girl by day, working girl by night, he as an insane sex-obsessed preacher, some forgettable soap opera type as leading man, the whole thing soaked in neon colors and spliced full of Bearsley and Hokusai, whom the American censor duly deleted in horror. “They cut out anything to do with art,” observed the filmmaker.

And that was it for America, save occasional pieces for HBO, progressively more televisual, the locked-off symmetrical winning out over the kinetic. Russell returned to the UK to make theatrical features, and again you heard the cry off “Whatever happened? He used to be good!” Gothic dealt with Byron and the Shelleys and the birth of Frankenstein, and was fruity, literate, dirty good fun. The Rainbow was a return to Women in Love territory, on a lower budget and with less energy and star wattage: Russell declared it his best film since that imagined zenith, and a few critics wanly agreed. The Lair of the White Worm was another journey beyond the pale, thrusting some of the same actors into a ludicrous vampire and snake goddess phallic farrago with Hugh Grant and a kilted Peter Capaldi attempting to snakecharm with bagpipes. A vampirized policeman gets his head impaled on a deco sundial. Marvelous. And the sequence was rounded out with Salome’s Last Dance, which stages Oscar Wilde’s biblical wet dream in a Victorian brothel, an inspired no-budget solution and a film which, unlike Altered States, really respects its words, lingering over them, rolling them salaciously over its tongue. Add in also Ken’s episode of Aria, in which he stages Nessun Dorma as an accident victim’s operating room hallucination, with porn mag model Linzi Drew, a new Russell favorite, in the lead.

Time was running out, the budgets shrinking like a Fu Manchu death chamber, the ceiling pressing down and clearly constraining what Russell could achieve, despite his continuing ambition. Lady Chatterley’s Lover for the BBC scored huge ratings, and he was never asked back. Commercial television’s top arts programme, The South Bank Show, run by Russell’s old screenwriter from Women in Love, Melvyn Bragg, kept him going with more-or-less annual commissions: he’d come full circle, or did when he moved back to home movies, shot in his garden or in his favorite Soho pub, which he hoped to “flog on the internet.” The symmetry of the career, its ourobousness, is more pleasing to contemplate than it must have been to live, though the last marriage lasted and was happy, and the ever-moving critical pendulum had reached the place where people were starting to say that The Devils and some of the other seventies work was really good, actually.

I can admire everything up until the final home movies, and maybe I’ll come round to them: Russell was right to admire all his earlier films. He spent decades more or less brushing off French Dressing, then saw it on TV and thought, “This is a masterpiece!” which it is. But only a minor one compared to what was those around it. Seaside-postcard humor, musical comedy performances, pop art imagery, Wagnerian and Stravinskian soundtracks, a defiant rejection of subtlety. “I don’t believe there’s any value in understatement […] This is the age of kicking people in the balls and telling them something and getting a reaction […] Picasso was not restrained, Mahler was not restrained!’” His detractors thought he should be, possibly in a straitjacket and with megadoses of Thorazine, but Russell was a volcanic eruption in cinematic form, a purple-faced tyrant of the Stroheim school, a demonic force driven to possess reels of celluloid and make them glow in the dark with a sugar rush radiation that has yet to decay. He was too big, too vulgar, too beautiful, too nasty and too beautiful for a national cinema mired in lethargic literary-theatrical respectability. “The visual arts have never had a foothold in England,” he sneered.

Ken!

Life is not a Ken Loach movie. It is a Ken Russell movie.

by David Cairns

#David Cairns #The Chiseler #Ken Russell

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angstchim · 6 years ago

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She Loops I. | Personal Post |

This isn’t writing related but it’s something I’ve been dealing with for a while and now I’m starting to be open with myself so I suppose it’s also good to be open the best way I can. Through my fingertips. This is a post about Marie. About the girl behind angstchim. My struggle with sexuality.

I grew up in a very broken, complicated home. A very Latin influenced home. A Christian background. My father wasn’t in the picture for a good portion of time from when I was 5 to when I was 10. I lived with my mother and she went from a drunk to a reformed Christian in what seemed like a blink of an eye. But it started before that, she always had women from a local church watch me. I being half Guatemalan, half American I only knew English and thus felt alienated at that church.

Everything was in Spanish, I could barely ask my babysitter to get me glass water in Spanish and they didn’t know English. I didn’t know what people were saying to me, but I knew a few things. The children spoke decent English, the other girls my age pulled me into their little circle and that's where I learned my first notes about the Bible. 1. “God” Exists 2. Women and men go together ONLY.

I was never a fish to flow against the current, I heard that and it became the words that came out of my mouth as a child. I could repeat them in Spanish as I learned. But I noticed there were something about me that the other girls at church didn’t seem to worry about. When there were sleepovers and the girls all slept in a bed together I was the only one who could hear their heart in their ears. I would snuggle so close to them only to have them elbow me to move away and raise their brow.

I would hug them seconds longer to feel them close. I wasn’t quite sure why I wanted them near me. The other girls my age seemed to not notice, but I felt a pang of guilt. Guilt that became heavier as they started to talk about homosexuality. 7-year-olds dissing girl and girl relationships. “it’s so weird.” , “they go to hell” and then there’d be me clutching my fluffy Sunday dress. “Y-Yeah very strange.”

Then I guilted myself. My mind was my biggest bully, I told myself to not think the way I did. “Marie likes boys only” And then I ingrained the words so heavily into my brain that it became my truth. “Marie likes boys only”. It was one of those things where if you repeat it enough it becomes true if you ignore it enough it doesn’t exist.

Then Marie was “normal”, she got confessions from boys. Shared a few pecks and smooches through grade school. Till she met a girl who I’ll call for privacy sake Bel. Bel and Marie got along great. Playing together, watching a movie until Bel sneaks up behind me and kisses my neck. Then my composure, my “normalness” shattered. The very thing I trained myself to believe suddenly blew up in my face. I felt guilty all over again. I quickly pushed Bel away the hardest I could call her a “creep” and ran. I was scared. Something 8-year-old Marie couldn’t understand was that Bel was like me. 8-year-old Marie saw in Bel what was in her. But 8-year-old Marie was scared. After my self reassured diagnosis that I was normal came back as a big phat NEGATIVE after Bel kissed my neck and pulled me into her.

After that, I treated Bel differently. It wasn’t because of her, it was because I was scared. I was so scared. I once again return to my mental “lab” to redo my “tests” and brainwash myself again. After that incident, Marie was “normal” again. Fresh from the “lab”.

Marie continued to think she was “normal” but then she got her first boyfriend. Her first love for sure. But even in his arms, she still would watch a pretty girl across the street and she’d stare. She’d wonder if her hair was soft. If her skin was smooth. If her lips were just as soft R’s. But then she’d return to her mental “lab” and dunk herself in her mental water tank filled with great whites that would gnaw her bones if she didn't only like guys.

Marie grew and broke away from the church, turning her back on religion she dealt with her peers. But then Marie found a friend. A girl. A girl she tore herself up all over. She after so many years of hiding decided to let loose and love a girl. She loved her lots. But sadly the Minx of her mind was straight and wanted to be friends. The hopes I had weren’t high, I knew it wasn’t going to happen for various reasons. Age difference, Distance, “Straightness”. It was a bomb

I killed myself mentally over it. I was feeling that guilt all over. I was panicking and so exhausted. I was in a battle with myself. My heart was like some little devil that escaped it’s cage and fucked with everything it could. The little devil is my love for girls. That little devil leaped and rolled and even punched the shit out me. The pesky devil reduced me to crying while eating as I felt such a mental weight. The little devil, the extra weight I had with me had been lost when she escaped. The little devil made me lose a few pounds. The little devil definitely got her revenge for being locked in my mental lab.

Soon the first girl I chose to love broke my heart. As straight girls tend to do. Then my little devil collected her things, she picked up the things she knocked over, she helped me eat my meals and dried my tears. She crawled back into my chest and wept with me as I got through my heartbreak. My little devil complained to a special friend. A girl who was by my side when I had my first confession for a girl. She walked me through it. Answered my questions. And soon my little devil became a little angel. She is shyer now.

This special friend really is becoming special. She teaches my reformed devil turned angel that she can like both. I still have moments where I doubt. But at least now I can say that I’m accepting myself. My sexuality for what it is I can’t label just yet. But my little devil turned angel. My love for women. My love for men. I want to learn more about them both. I’m just learning to accept myself. I still feel it’s too soon to label myself. But I want to say that Marie she’s been a loop for a while now. Far from the straight pole she claimed to be.

#angstchimtalks #personal

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keywestlou · 2 years ago

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BUBBA BUSTS

BUBBA BUSTS - https://keywestlou.com/bubba-busts-3/Key West Bubbas Originally posted May 2018 Bubbas are native born Key Westers. Also referred to as Conchs. A distinction. Those so born are proud of their heritage. Bubbas are also those who though not born in Key West have been residents a very long time and are deeply entwined in the business of the community. On this day in 1985, the jury returned in a federal court criminal case involving 14 Bubbas. Twelve were found guilty. Involved were drugs. The 1985 bust was not the only Bubba bust. There was one 10 years earlier in 1975 and another 10 years later in 1995. The feds would swoop down and make arrests. The federal authorities in 1995 were concerned local authorities would reveal the investigation. The feds never advised local authorities of the investigation till arrests had actually been made. The 1975 Bubba bust is best remembered. James “Bum” Farto was Fire Chief. He was arrested and convicted of drug dealing. Following conviction, he disappeared on a trip to Miami. His car was found in a Latino neighborhood. Bum Farto has never been found. A famous saying has developed over the years: Bum Farto Where are You? On tee shirts, etc. Farto has gained more notoriety in disappearing than if he had lived a calm routine life as Key West Fire Chief. Tuesdays always quiet for me. I remain at home and fine tune my podcast to be delivered at 9 in the evening. The Show: Tuesday Talk with key West Lou. Show went well last night. Love doing it! I sit back and vent. Share my feelings with everyone. My numbers are increasing. I have national advertisers. Who would have believed! Yesterday’s Rosanne Barr incident. ABC and Disney did the right thing. Costly, also. Not only for ABC and Disney. The many minions who worked the show, also. The little people. A hit show and their jobs lost. Roseanne has a big mouth. Always has. Even 20 years ago. Would she have been as racist in her comments yesterday were it not for Donald Trump? A President sets the moral tone for the country. The standard. Trump is a racist. Ergo, everyone else is entitled to be. He gives license to the Roseanne Barrs to be more vocal than they might have been. This week’s KONK Life hits the stands at 5 this evening. My column this week: The FBI of Today The Jews of Yesterday. One of the best columns I have written. Read it, if possible. In May 1937, the Volkswagen was born. Hitler wanted a state owned automobile company that could produce a cheap car. An affordable vehicle for the masses. Hitler achieved his goal. The Volkswagen. Cost under 1,000 Reich marks. $140 American money. The German term for Volkswagen means “The people’s Car Company.” Hitler’s concept got its start in 1937. The company produced few or no cars. Hitler needed tanks. The plant was converted to a tank making facility. The U.S. is in a time of diminishing influence world wide. For this we have Donald Trump to thank. An example being the U.S. withdrawal from the Iran nuclear pact. There was and is money to be made in and with Iran. China recognized this fact immediately. It was recently announced a Chinese investment firm is going to invest $2 billion in an oil refining plant in Iran. China and Russia are looking for ways to invest in Iran. On this day in 1431, Joan of Arc was martyred. She was burned at the stake. By decision of the Catholic Church. Burning at the stake. A religious inspired death. Concerned and caring. Not one of the Church’s finest moments. Church and government do not mix. Like oil and water. We have a problem today with religion. Evangelicals have become politicized. They support Trump regardless of his many wrongdoings. The Catholic Church also on occasion. Not a healthy scenario. Have to hustle. I have a late morning heart doctor appointment with Dr. McIvor. Routine. Frequent doctoring a scourge for the elderly. Tiring. A pain in itself. Necessary, however. I am glad I am able to do it. Enjoy your day! Share this:

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multimuseum · 7 years ago

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♂, ☿, ✍, ⌘, ღ

ASK THE MUN

♂ : Do you have a role-play/writing routine? If so, what is it?

Not really-- I often just leave my threads floating in limbo til the inspiration STRIKES to reply. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and sometimes it takes a couple weeks.

I’ll tell you straight up tho-- I’m not one of those writers who likes to listen to music when writing. I just--- I can’t. I’ve got ADHD and I need to focus when I’m writing. Which can be a challenge if I’ve got a soundtrack playing in the background.

☿ : A trope you dislike?

Girls are only magic users/the damsel in distress. I hate that idea. It’s perpetuated in a lot of my favorite anime and I’ve lost a lot of love for it over the years. CLAMP is guilty of this but the worst offender is probably Kingdom Hearts. I just know they’re gonna make Kairi essentially a red-haired Aqua. Have her use magic and crap and make her weak.

I hate it. I don’t subscribe to it-- hence why I play strictly TANK Kairi on this blog. Every time I see the ‘damsel in distress’ trope I groan a little. Can’t the GUY be the damsel? TBH-- one of the MANY reasons I love Kyou Kara Maou is that it switches this trope around. The protagonist is often the one getting kidnapped-- and he’s the most powerful character in the series.

✍ : Offer 3-5 tips on how to get other role players started on interacting with your muse.

It depends on the muse. My villains are harder to write with-- especially Pitch, who’d only show up if he’s interested in a muse, or in someone’s dreams.

Honestly the easiest to write with would probably be the KH crew-- given that they hop along from world to world.Just come at me with a plot or hit me up via IMs to talk interactions!

⌘ : Where do you get some of your inspirations for plots/head canons? Offer an example, if possible.

I look to the actors-- to fanon-- and sometimes to the series itself. A passing phrase could be used to extrapolate a whole slew of headcanons.

For example-- in KKM, Yuuri offhandedly remarks that Murata is ‘frail’. Not in a negative sense-- simply pointing out he’s really not as athletic as the rest of their group. And honestly-- he is. Murata is just a human. He might have a demon’s soul but he’s mortal. Using his abilities causes him considerable strain-- something that only Yozak notices in the manga.

From this I can extrapolate their relationship-- especially given the few scraps we get that they could have known one another in a past life. You give me an inch and I’ll take a mile.

I also look to the actors, for live-action things. Like-- with LeFou’s religion. I headcanon him as Jewish-- and as @ofsmokeandsmiles has pointed out in the past, he’s coded as Jewish without explicitly saying it. Josh Gad himself is Jewish as well-- which leads to a slew of headcanons about how this poor man is in the closet in more ways than one.

ღ : What sorts of plots/characters/scenes do you have the most difficulty writing, and why?

I can’t write action for shit. Fighting scenes are my greatest weakness. I’ve always felt awkward writing them, even back during my earliest days of roleplaying.

I suppose it could be because I’ve never had the right partner to write action with. I like plotting things out if combat is going to happen-- like coordinating the stunts for a scene. I hate flying by the seat of my pants and unfortunately, in pretty much every fight scene I’ve written, I’ve had to do that. Which has soured the experience considerably.

It makes me reluctant to write action-focused characters. I’d love to throw some of my HxH muses on here-- or some more YYH characters. But these series are so focused on combat that it causes me to be a bit picky.

If anyone wants to help a brother out and walk me through a decent action scene, I’d be down.

#WELL THAT TOOK A WHILE #ilu so much imma tag you in your own ask #;;mun [ooc]#ofsmokeandsmiles

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cadysu · 7 years ago

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tell me about your kokuyo gang headcanons pls and thanks

Let us talk about my children the Kokuyo Gang aka Mukuro, Ken, Chikusa, M.M., and the rest but not Chrome because Chrome is a member of the Vongola Family and was kicked out. :^) EDIT: NO FRAN BECAUSE THIS POST GOT TOO LONG GOMEN. I’m going to do a paragraph or so segment for each character I think with some canon facts mixed into headcanon so have FUN!

Mukuro- Mukuro has a lot of canon info already so this is gonna be on the shorter part. Mukuro is a little shit kjasnd Mukuro enjoys reading of all types- from picking up a magazine to novels. He is also very spiritual- yes his powers have ties to the levels of Hell, but I can see religion and belief systems being topics of interest for him. He’s extremely up to date on politics (less in a “wow politics is interesting” and more as a study of people. He watches to see the corruption, lies, and abuse of power. And let’s make it pretty damn clear that if he had nothing better to do/ there was no effort to it, Mukuro would 10000% be okay murdering those people in cold blood because he can. I feel like a lot of people forget Mukuro is a villain (antihero but still a villain too). On a less serious side of everything though- Mukuro can also be very laid back and playful. He pampers himself (spa day with M.M., glass of wine FRUIT COCKTAIL, video games with the rest of the gang, etc.) As serious and scary as he can come across, he is still a teenager. A teenager that is fully aware of how bad the world can be, but also in a bit of a chuuni-bubble where he feels this one man illusionist wrecking machine can take over everything and his only obstacle atm is the Vongola Family.

Also Mukuro strikes me as someone who would enjoy David Lynch movies. I mean I’m not projecting my love of Twin Peaks on him, but watching Twin Peaks made me think he’d enjoy it a fair amount. :T Or at least Fire Walk With Me.

Ken- SMELLY BOI. I love Ken. Ken may not be the smartest, but do not call him stupid! He just works things out differently. Ken can pick up on small things that many people miss due to his keen observation skills; his sense of smell, hearing, and vision are all heightened compared to a normal human being. He can almost “sniff” out illusions if they’re not very well done and he is a natural at catching someone in a lie. Ken canonically hates bathing but I can also see him being grubby in general- he doesn’t floss as much as he should or clean his ears, he has dirty nails, runs around barefoot a lot- stuff like that. Ken doesn’t eat his veggies either. He’s like that one tumblr post where Chikusa is the “Do you feel guilty when you dont eat vegetables/ only junk food for awhile and you need healthy food to feel better?” “Idk Kakipi I’ve only had soda and gushers for 3 days and I feel fine” “Ken...no...” That is Ken. Ken has a huge fear of doctors/dental offices in general, but I think one of the biggest things that he’s scared of is anesthesia and needles, even though these things are supposed to help. Seeing tanks of nitrous or the small plastic mask to go over one’s mouth and nose really drive up his anxiety. Only Chikusa and Mukuro can really calm him down and convince him everything will be okay. Even if the doctor is Verde/ someone he has developed a degree of trust, he still cannot control his PTSD. Ken hates wearing suits and he doesn’t really like getting new clothes either- not so much anything against new clothes, he just likes wearing the same smelly shirt 5 days out of the week if he can. Also, not a set in stone headcanon, but I can picture Ken being colorblind.

Chikusa- Chikusa is such an overlooked character aaah- Okay first off- Chikusa is not as smart as Mukuro, but smarter than Ken. He sometimes reads or peaks into the books that Mukuro is reading, and he does try to continue his education however way he can. There actually isn’t a subject he really dislikes, but Ken and M.M. tease him for still doing things like homework or reading the old textbooks they have despite none of them going to school. Chikusa is also one of the only few in the house to do chores: cleaning, cooking, making Ken take a bath, grocery shopping, etc. He can also do small sewing/stitches for mending holes and he learns small skills relatively quickly as long as they aren’t too complex. Despite his extreme loyalty to Mukuro and rarely seen without Ken tagging along, Chikusa is a very independent person. Introverted, but independent. He spends his time at home playing video games and listening to music, and when he needs to leave, he just goes out. Chikusa is a better functioning adult as a teenager than most adults LOL (minus the fact he has no bills to pay). Chikusa tries to save his allowance money but usually gives some to Ken for whatever small reason like a few extra tries in an arcade game, some junk food or comic, etc. He never brings it up or asks for money in return but sometimes sighs with reluctance. If he really doesn’t want to, he’ll say no, but there’s usually a reason (”Ken we need real groceries. I’m not eating gum for dinner.” “I need to replace my headphone cord” “I have a crack in my glasses” etc.) Opposite to Ken, Chikusa tries to have really good hygiene. The only thing that truly bothers him is that he can’t wash his hair as much as he’d like, but he covers it with his hat and possibly dry shampoo from M.M. if desperate.

Chikusa is ambidextrous. :v

ABOUT THE BARCODE- Okay so another person I rp’d with had the headcanon of Chikusa being a twin and the barcode being a way the Estraneo kept track of them, which I thought was fucking genius. Screencaps and manga scans show he didn’t have that tattoo as a kiddo/pre-Mukuro rampage, so technically it isn’t accurate, but it’s a thought nonetheless. I do consider the barcode a tattoo and not drawn on/temporary/birthmark/etc. I still like that idea as an honoring thing. Like if he had a twin who they marked but the twin died during an experiment so when they were out of there he did it as a we-will-never-be-apart thing.M.M. - MY DAUGHTERU. God M.M. is such a good character but people snub her because she’s a “bitch” and a woman (I say that because when Mammon is greedy it is cute but when M.M. is greedy she’s bad. Same with her attitude! If a male shounen character acted that way he’d be like, a princely type. So yeah I think a lot of M.M. hate comes from people who don’t respect women :T)

ANYWAYS I genuinely love the idea of M.M.’s name/design/background having a small reference to the book series of Madeline. PROBLEM HERE IS I HAVE TWO HEADCANON BACKGROUNDS FOR HER AND I LIKE BOTH SO HERE THEY ARE: I headcanon her real name as Madeline, and the she was sent off to a wealthy all girl’s boarding school as a child. She lost her parents at a very young age and inherited a small fortune, but had nowhere to go. She would stay and live in the boarding school until school was out, and then stay with an estranged relative during the breaks. However, she quickly started staying at “friends” homes instead as her limited family did not look after her or have any interest in her actual well being. THE OTHER VERSION VERY SIMILAR BUT INSTEAD OF BEING WEALTHY SHE WAS VERY POOR AND SENT TO A WEALTHY SCHOOL. The idea of her either being a poor young girl who got a taste of riches and fucking took it or the idea of a young girl who grew up wealthy but was surrounded by people who wanted what she got made her be a lot harder and did a fuck you all I’m M.M. and I get what I want. I love both those ideas and I can see them both working as a background. Both M.M.s’ see how the capitalism really runs the world and the main difference is one just had to work a little more to get rich while the other had less of a struggle but equal amount of determination. M.M. learned quickly that she was rather “pretty” to men and with money, she wouldn’t have to run to anyone or need help from anyone.

To earn money, she started as a small petty thief and moved on to grander schemes quickly. M.M. was a talented shoplifter and would pick up on things she could sell off to the girl’s in school, and then for the big money she knows how to blackmail people and get dirt on anyone. A cheap disposable camera and risky photos can ruin a person’s life. A little bit of alcohol is all it really takes for someone to make a horrible mistake. Also a lot of alcohol can make someone pass out and lose all the money in their wallet. Although she never liked the business, I can see M.M. knowing the fastest cash she could make would be to sell drugs to other girls. A little coke here and there. Think of that post making fun of the group of white boys vs. hipsters with the caption “Who would pay more for weed?” M.M. knows who and knows how to convince them “this is some really rare good stuff that I stole from my parents~ Yknow it’s imported from Amsterdam~” or “Hey I heard you want to lose weight, yknow I know how you can be the thinnest girl in school~” M.M. is resourceful and cunning and she can and will prey on someone’s insecurities for money. M.M. has been arrested and does have a mugshot, but this was in the beginning of her thieving days and she was released later that night. She also may or may not have tried to seduce her guard(s). Also despite her flirting and knowing what she CAN do, she has never gone into sex work. She hasn’t met a man or woman who can afford her. She’s a virgin but she’ll lie about it/ leave it ambiguous just to see what pays more. :T

Now a lot of this all applies to her before she joined the Kokuyo gang. Mukuro had heard about M.M. when seeing her mugshot in a trashy gossip magazine. A young, pretty and precocious teenage girl with a natural talent of stealing? No family really known/ totally independent? Why not try and get her in your growing gang of misfits. She was hesitant at first, but Mukuro, in Verde’s own words, is extremely charismatic. Plus she finds him cute and really saw promise in his plans. She hates Kokuyo Land because of how dirty it is, and actually bothered to have her part of the hideout remodeled for her liking (a nice bed, a vanity in her room, a throw rug over the damaged floorboards, etc.) She managed to turn abandoned and run down into “shabby chic” but she’s hoping she can get it to a more Versailles tier one day.

Not to bring up Twin Peaks again but after watching it I definitely get Audrey Horne vibes out of M.M.

M.M. has the highest education of the Kokuyo Gang and has actually has a very good understanding of chemistry. Her main passion though is music and she genuinely loves to play her clarinet in her room for fun.

OTHER CHARACTERS!:

FUN “FACTS”:

M.M. is a Sephora VIB Rouge member and makes fun of people who have to shop at Ulta (except she does shop at Ulta when no one is looking.)

Each member of the Kokuyo Gang has a preferred fighting video game and main. (SIDE NOTE: I don’t play enough fighting games to be familiar with every character’s play styles in all games so these ideas can easily change) Mukuro- Mortal Kombat (I only played MK1 for genesis and MKX which I suck at but I can see him playing Scorpion and beating up Johnny Cage repeatedly), Ken- Tekken and probably mains Kuma (Ken can definitely tap the buttons fast enough for those combos), Chikusa- Street Fighter as Ryu/ he keeps things very classic (But usually he plays whatever Ken wants to play, so I can see him maybe playing a lot of Yoshimitsu), and M.M. is Soul Calibur as Ivy, who is definitely 100% not overpowered. Also Fran plays Smash bros. and he’s probably a Mewtwo spamming lil shit. Or Metaknight.

Chikusa’s likes to go inside Tower Records and Mandarake stores, but rarely buys anything because of his limited finances.

They didn’t have cable until Verde moved in and would sometimes watch daytime television. Local news, daytime soaps, public tv anime, etc. Sometimes they rent videos for a night at home, or sneak into movie theaters with a little illusion help.

NONE OF THEM HAVE GONE TO A DOCTOR OR DENTIST (except M.M. and Fran when he was at his granny’s) because of their past trauma. When Team Verde was formed, Verde did a health assessment but has been unsuccessful at making any of them see a dentist. Especially Ken- but Ken does take better care of his channels.

i have so much more to type but oh fuck i went on sorry chi jkdsfnaksdfn

#lONG POST #astrasia

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albatris · 8 years ago

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Could you do the first 11 from that OC meme? :D ♡♡

Thanks for the asks!! :D I’m so sorry it’s been like a month, I literally don’t even have an explanation this has been sitting in my drafts for so long I’m just a lazy shit lmao

bETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS

#squad: who’s friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

answered! (although that was…… rather a long time ago now ;-;)

microscope: zoom in – describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

so uh……. okay Kai’s hair goes down to their lower back when it’s not tied up but it’s hardly ever not tied up, and it’s even longer when it’s straightened but it’s definitely never straightened, they think all hot drinks are gross except for chili hot chocolate, they’ve never had a brain freeze, their favourite colour is daffodil yellow, they enjoy pointing out all the mistakes and inconsistencies in crime shows (loudly), and they get super into Eurovision

fragrance: what do your OCs smell like?

man I’m the worst at questions like these because I don’t really have a great sense of smell at all, so scent isn’t really something I have a grasp on describing because I don’t really… experience it all that much… I mean I should probably work on describing it because blah blah writing blah blah use all five senses but like

anyway I know that Tris probably just smells like coffee all the time and that Shara would wear some kind of fancy floral perfume, idk about the others though

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

okey dokes so here are some Kai songs because why the heck not

Ends of the Earth // Lord Huron

Animal Mask // The Mountain Goats

Avalanche // Walk The Moon

Madrigal // Taxiride

Rubik’s Cube // Athlete

and also because I left this answer so long I started coming up with Luke songs as well, because apparently Luke is a vaguely important character or something as much as it pains me lmao

Bad Blood// Bastille

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) // Emily Browning

He Dreams He’s Awake// Stars

A Hopeful Transmission // Coldplay

Battle For The Sun // Placebo

wardrobe: what’s your OC(s) style like?

Noa’s will wear whatever as long as it’s easy to move in, and can usually be found in ripped jean shorts, bright tank tops and combat boots, and also ridiculous patterned socks, which are her guilty pleasure. Shara loves cute pastel everything and is so so here for decorative scarves and summery dresses and flower crowns and all that jazz

lightning: who’s the most impulsive character? and who is their impulse control?

answered!

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how do they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

okay so I’m honestly just going to yell about a bunch of different characters re that last part because honestly?? when else will I get a chance just dump all of this information on people at once. probably never

for main characters: Tris is biromantic ace, Shara is questioning bi, Noa is the biggest lesbian in the world, Alice is a trans girl and also the biggest lesbian in the world, it’s a tie, Kai is genderqueer and aromantic/quoiromantic pansexual

for various others: Hiriko is a trans boy and pansexual and polyamorous, Avery is agender and aro ace (triple threat yeaaaaahhh), Mel is demisexual and agender, Marrick is just a bunch of question marks, and Mallory is bi

love note: who likes who? crushes? relationships? are they mutual or unrequited?

answered!

poison: vices/bad habits? what are they? how do they affect your OC?

Shara has an incredibly self-deprecating sense of humour which can really screw with her self-esteem. She also has the worst sleep schedule in the universe, and has a habit of staying up late watching horror movies or reading about the paranormal till she’s too freaked out to sleep lmao

Tris spends a lot of time moping about the past and reading over text conversations from people he used to be really close with, he thinks it’s productive because it will help him figure out how to not go wrong in the same ways again but all it really does is make him super depressed. Also he drinks probably lethal amounts of coffee so he always looks vaguely dead inside ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

compass: who’s the moral compass? in general: what are your OCs’ morality like? do they have high morals, or not? are their morals self imposed, or do they base their morals on religion/family/influence of others?

Noa probably has the strongest moral compass, she’s got a pretty set sense of right vs wrong and isn’t swayed by much, and would much rather act on her morals and piss a bunch of people off than go against them to keep the peace. Kai is similar, but they have a tendency to second guess themself because they want to keep people happy. Like sure they’re not going to go directly against their morals, but they’re never 100% certain how many of their morals are actually theirs, rather than something they adopted because it was convenient

#oedipuswrex

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grabtee · 5 years ago

Text

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0 notes

specialagentfluffstein · 6 years ago

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Answer them questions flufflestuff

Flufflestuff. I dig it.

1. Name - Fluffy

2. Age - Full Fledged Adult

3. City that you live in - One so close to Hell, You can see Sparks.

4. What do most people not know about you? That I’m a dispatcher.

5. What do most people know you for? Being scary.

6. Hobbies - Knitting, Disney, watching TV.

7. What are your passions? Taking down the Patriarchy.

8. What do you search for in a significant other? A sense of humor.

7. What are you most proud of? My education.

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? Two nights ago.

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? I collect lots of things. Right now I collect the little Disney Tsum Tsum figures.

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. Visit every Disney Park, See the Northern Lights, Touch an Octopus, Find a (vintage) Taxidermy bear, Visit all 50 states, dismantle the patriarchy, go to NY Fashion Week, get published, go to SDCC, pet a live bear.

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Aggressive Optimist!

19. Do you sleep during class? Nope.

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? My SUV.

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? I have little hairnet type things to keep my hair controlled when I have it in a bun, and they are wonderful.

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? Too many.

23. Text or call? Depends on what you need to tell me.

24. Opinion on long distance? Road trips? Sure. Relationships? Maybe.

25. What is your definition of success? Being able to afford a real vacation every year.

26. Favorite song? Right this second? “Mystery of Love”- Sufjan Stevens

27. Favorite artist? Dave Brubeck

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? Armie Hammer.

29. When was the last time you read for fun? ????? Good Question. August, I think.

30. Favorite flower? Carnations.

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? A completely paid off, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage house with a yard big enough for five corgis and a pit bull.

32. Any guilty pleasures? Television.

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? I need a better volume attenuator.

34. What do you search for in a friend? Not a racist or a bigot.

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month? a fuckton.

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? My place of employment, on my day off, for a staff meeting.

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because the universe is indifferent.

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? I’m gonna go with being stabbed in the eye, as it is an actual physical injury.

39. How many green shirts do you own? One. it’s a Boondocks Saints shirt I keep specifically for St. Patrick’s.

40. Do you like anime? Nope.

41. What do you invest the most time in? School.

42. What was the name of the last book you read? Crazy Rich Asians.

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone? I like a lot of people. I only love a few.

44. Where are you most productive? The kitchen table.

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. Going to the movies, talking, playing card/board games.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. Watching TV, knitting, reading.

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? While men are overwhelmingly in charge? No.

48. Do you have any allergies? Yup.

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? Today, while I was driving.

50. What was the last promise you made? I don’t really make promises.

51. What was your last dream about? I had a dream about one of the officers I used to work with.

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? Sister, Boyfriend, Mom, Uncle, Thor.

53. How many countries have you visited? Just this one.

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) Knitting and writing.

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? Today.

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? My tank.

57. Do you consider yourself mature? Yup.

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? Too many.

59. What is your favorite quote? “When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.” - Walt Disney

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? Don’t be a bigot, all dogs deserve to be loved and petted, education makes things better.

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? Not killing anyone.

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? Nope. Rot in a cell forever.

63. What are your goals for life? Money.

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? Probably dicking around on their phone.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. Okay so there’s this cute book series by Ann M. Martin called Main Street Sisters or something, I wanna live in their city.

66. What were you like in 2013? Awful.

67. Do you have a job? Yup.

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. No thanks.

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? Who dictates its constructs.

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? Quite a few.

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? Nope, Ravelry or Pinterest.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? I mean... there’s not a whole lot I wouldn’t do for a million dollars, honestly.

73. Does money equal happiness? Yes. Money = stability = happiness.

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? Enough that I know what it feels like.

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? Plenty.

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? I don’t know. I’m pretty easy to make laugh.

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? I don't. I avoid it.

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? Get the fuck out of my way.

79. What is your favorite animal? Bears! And dogs, and penguins and deer and raccoons.

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? Yup.

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? Driving.

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? Ha. Hahahahahaha.

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? Yes and no. I think you can be mature for your age, but that doesn’t necessarily make you mature in general.

84. What is your favorite clothing store? Macy’s.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? Both. So many layers and knitted things.

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? Wings.

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? Yup.

88. What do you fear the most? Failure. And fire.

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? 3.14.

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? No thanks.

91. Describe yourself in one word. Loud.

92. Describe your last victory. I Scored highest on the last test in EMT, and literally everyone else failed it. No joke.

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? I have seen too many weird things. They are now commonplace to me.

94. What is something you will never forget? My first high speed pursuit.

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? Everything in vivid detail.

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? Nope.

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? Love.

98. Coffee or tea? Coffee.

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? Being creative helps.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? too many.

Thanks for asking!

#fluffy answers

0 notes

starlingsrps · 6 years ago

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anna tate char. dev. (questions sheet)

1. What does their bedroom look like?

well, right now, she's living in hotel rooms and tour buses so it varies. back home in nashville, her room is small because the apartment she and her mother share is small but she has it plastered with postcards and pictures and whatnots. she's kind of a magpie. her room at home-home in mobile has long since been taken over by clara (they shared).

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

she likes to stretch when she first wakes up because it makes her feel more awake. otherwise, coffee and texting sawyer good morning as soon as she can see straight. her day-to-day changes depending on if they have a show that night or not. on performance days, it's a lot of hurry up and wait but on days off, she likes to explore whatever city they're in, time permitting.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

ugh, she knows she should start but [whines]

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

she does not cook. she can boil water for pasta but there's a 50/50 chance of her wandering off midway through the cooking process and forgetting.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

she's reasonably tidy. living out of a suitcase and needing to know where all your shit is because you'll be gone again in twenty four hours will do that.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

garbage truck garbage truck garbage truck.

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time.

she doesn't look at anything as really wasting time, if that makes sense.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging.

she's not supposed to be drinking because A) not twenty one for another week and B) vocal chords but her drummer will sneak her a beer if she asks. she usually feels a smidge guilty.

9. Makeup?

not really for everyday beyond a little concealer and mascara. onstage though - bring it. she doesn't really care so long as her freckles aren't pancaked into invisibility. she likes them.

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

she always carries multiple guitar picks with her wherever she goes, including onstage. she had her stylist sew pockets into an elie saab dress so she could carry shit with her onstage. she also always hand writes her set lists and they sometimes look like the scribblings of a madwoman.

11. Intellectual pursuits?

she likes to read.

12. Favorite book genre?

honestly, anything and everything with a weakness for horror.

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

anna's heterosexual and honestly could doesn't care what you identify with as long as you're a decent person.

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

nah, p healthy.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

finishing this damn song.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

oh boy. she wants a lot of things long term. she's getting awards buzz for her first album and she knows they aren't everything but she'd like the validation of awards. she wants to keep making music as long as she can. she wants to see the world. she wants to be with sawyer.

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

jeans, t-shirt or tank and go. she likes sneakers or sandals mostly and if she had it her way, that's how she'd perform as well. but she understands that she has to dress up so she has a handful of very nice dresses for major performances that she had her stylist sew pockets into. pockets are extremely important.

18. Favorite beverage?

iced coffee and water. she's trying to get better about hydration but coffee. sweet coffee.

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

she never remembers.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

none really besides chicken pox and there was nothing interesting there. just scratching. so much scratching.

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: when sawyer does this thing with his hair. turn offs: when dudes wear their sunglasses on the back of their head.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

weird looking cats.

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

fairly organized. like i said, she likes to know where all her shit is.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

look man i'm writing this at 5AM i'll come back to this.

25.How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

happy, successful, all that. she's young. she has a hard time seeing that far down the line.

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

nope. this is it.

27. What is their biggest regret?

not a one.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

sawyer and her best friend from mobile, sadie. clara is an enemy half the time because clara is Meddling.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

panic.

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

panic. like holy shit when she and sawyer get found out? PANICPANICPANIC, followed quickly by the desire to murder clara.

31. Most prized possession?

her guitars tbh.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

she tries to not get attached by they are kind of necessary.

33. Concept of home and family?

oh wow, it's been a long time since she felt 100% in a family? like don't get me wrong: she's close with her parents and her siblings but life is just...crazy right now. she's been living apart from her dad and siblings since she was sixteen when she and her mother started making a run at nashville. she's always been closer to her mother than her father as a result but hey, still a lot of love there.

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

it's kind of a split? she's still learning what to hold back from the public and what to share and she does not want to share sawyer.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

she doesn't enjoy it necessarily but girl stop scrolling through gossip sites it's not good for you.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

not being there.

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

emotional.

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

type B.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

just being on her own for a bit. curl up, listen to some music, try to breathe.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

she worries that she's not really good enough for all of this and that she's going to be found out.

41. How misanthropic are they?

nah.

42. Hobbies?

song writing, music, exploring

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

anna went to high school up through her junior year and then turned professional. she has her GED and sometimes feels like she should have done things more traditionally but she also doesn't regret it at all.

44. Religion?

anna was raised baptist but she doesn't go anymore.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

ghosts are real fight her on this.

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

words and songs.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

anna needs someone who can balance her out and who understands what her situation is like because man, it is not normal. et voila, sawyer.

48. How do they express love?

i literally took a lap around my desk to determine this: she's definitely told sawyer that she loves him and she's pretty affectionate in private which is what makes it so damn hard in public. she just wants to hold his stupid hand damnit.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

anna's going to fight and flail for a minute and then assume the fetal position.

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

she's twenty. she still thinks she'll live forever.

#c: anna tate #anna pls my crops are dying

0 notes

suckitsurveys · 7 years ago

Text

Find the nearest book. Read the second sentence on page 13. There are no books near me.

Do you own anything that is made of metal and pink? I have pink scissors. Does that count?

Is there laundry in your dryer right now? Nope.

Would you eat a hissing beetle for $1000? Nah.

If you had to spend a year studying an animal in the wild, what animal? PANDAS. What is your all time favorite recipe? Tropical Sloppy Joe’s which is basically just Sloppy Joe’s with pineapple, but I make them from scratch.

What’s the first thing you think of when you smell strawberries? Uh, just strawberries?

What’s the nearest thing to your right that starts with an L? Light. Are there any bells in your house? In my parents’ house yes.

What’s your favorite informercial? I haven’t watched a legit infomercial in AGES.

Ever been to AsSeenOnTv.com? Yeah.

If you could have a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Target, naturally.

Where’s the best place to register for a wedding? Target, naturally.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found on the beach? I found a small crab on a beach in Chicago once.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? Nah.

Can you watch a birthing video all the way through? Of course. I’ve also seen a real life birth before.

What would be your act in a talent show? Crying a lot.

What channel is on channel 37 on your tv? We have Sling so we don’t have channel numbers.

What’s the last thing you wrote? I don’t remember.

Do you have a community mailbox or an individual one? Individual, except our mail person likes to put everyone else’s mail in there too.

How many keys are on your key ring? 4.

What was your first myspace song ever? Oh man I have no idea. Probably something by mc chris.

Besides mama and dada, what was your first real word? Probably “cory” or something for my sister.

Would you rather be stuck in the desert or in a blizzard? The desert.

What dessert do you hate? Canolies. Is that considered a dessert?

What candy factory would you love to work at? None of them.

What does an envelope taste like to you? Some envelopes taste like spearmint candy canes.

What’s your favorite line in your favorite movie? Oh man, too many gems.

Have you ever gone to the bathroom outdoors? Yes.

Would you help a baby cougar w/ the risk of the mama attacking you? Probably not.

What international monument would you like to visit the most? I don‘t know.

Have you decided where you want to get married? Mark and I are going to the Skokie Courthouse.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten in a sandwich? I’m not sure I‘ve eaten anything strange in a sandwich before.

What’s the most exotic thing you’ve eaten? I mean, define “exotic.” I’ve had alligator and ostrich before. Do those count?

Is there a crime/criminal that intrigues you the most? Not really.

What Disney prince/character do you think is the cutest? The cutest Disney character is baby Dory.

Can you name some of the clever names of OPI nail polish? I had one called “Teal the Cows Come Home”

Can you sing the entire theme song to any show? Oh yes.

Did you ever get ‘the talk’ from either one of your parents? Sort of. I got it more from my older sister.

Do you remember drinking from a bottle? Not baby bottles, no.

What’s in the third drawer of your dresser? Tank tops and long sleeve shirts that I wear under other shirts.

What do you keep in the little pocket of your purse? I have a couple small pockets. In the outside one I keep my phone and in the inside one I keep birth control and tampons.

When people ask for ID, which ID do you use? My driver’s license.

Who was the first person you knew who’s name started with a P? The first person who comes to mind is Paula, a girl in my Kindergarten class, but I am sure there were others before her.

What’s the last form you filled out online? Uhh does placing an order for tank tops from Target count?

How many times have you had to renew/change your driver’s license? Maybe twice?

Have you ever been given a bouquet of carnations? I have.

Do you have an old computer that just sits at the house? Mark has a lot of computer parts in our apartment.

Do you read the lyrics in the CD sleeve while listening to the song? Back when I still used CDs, yes, I loved doing that.

Name something you made out of play-doh when you were younger. I loved making coils for some reason. I’d roll out the dough into a long string and then roll it onto a coil/swirl or whatever you’d call it. Sometimes I’d make snails out of them too.

What’s your next appointment for? I don’t really have one set up. Which reminds me I have to book the courthouse and a hotel for that night too.

When’s the last time you put glitter on something? In April on Lydia’s golden birthday card.

What’s the worst birthday gift you received as a child? I can’t remember ever getting a bad birthday present.

Do you go into the gas station or stay by your car when pumping gas? You should always say by your car.

When’s the last time you sat on Santa’s lap? I don’t know. I was older. Probably around 8 or 9.

What’s your favorite kind of caramel apple? The ones with nuts on them.

Would you rather wrestle crocodiles or anacondas? My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.

Did you sneeze last night? I don’t remember.

Do you hold the remote while watching tv or set it down? Set it down

Have you ever done farm chores like milk a cow or shave a sheep? I’ve milked a cow on a field trip in grade school before.

When’s the last time you used a coupon? When I ordered shorts from Torrid last week. They were having a $25 dollar shorts sale with an additional 30% code, and a I have a coupon for $10 off. So the $42.90 shorts came out to be $7.50, plus shipping and tax so more like $15 BUT STILL.

Does your mom know what size clothes you wear now? I mean, she did?

Is Love written anywhere in the room you’re in? I don’t think so.

What’s the nearest sports equipment to you? None here.

Have you ever glued your fingers or hands together? Yup, the joys of grade school. We use to pour glue on our hands and then peel it off a lot too.

Do you think that they should bring the guillotine back? Nope.

If you could invent anything to make life easier, what would it be? A magic device that lets you eat anything you wanted but not gain weight. And wasn’t horrible for you.

Would you like to run in a giant hamster ball for humans? Sure.

What were that last kind of nuts you ate? Peanuts. I made Honey Sriracha Chex Mix yesterday and it called for peanuts.

Do you own any shirts with political or social statements on them? Nah. Unless “Peace - Love - Music” counts, haha.

Do you remember what your 2nd grade teacher’s first name was? I don’t.

Have you ever played Twister & had someone’s butt in your face? Probably.

What was the last thing you cheated on? I don’t know. A test, probably.

When was the last time you used a walkie talkie? I have no idea.

Where do you usually go camping? I don’t have a one spot.

Who do you sleep with when you go camping? I haven’t really been camping with the same people? Mark and I plan on going again soon.

Ever been afraid to see a ghost in your rearview mirror when driving alone? No.

Have you ever dated anyone whose name started with B? Nope.

If yes, was it a good experience? -

Do you remember what Doug Funnie’s dog’s name was? Porkchop.

What is your favorite episode of The Brady Bunch? I couldn’t tell you a specific episode, but my favorite thing ever was when VH1 used to do Pop-Up Video style reruns of The Brady Bunch with trivia about the episode. I wish every show had that. <–YESSS

Name a line from a Spice Girls song. “Stop right now thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch.”

Have you ever jumped into a pile of leaves? Yes.

What does your swimsuit look like? A pink halter tank with black polka dots and black high waisted bottoms.

Do you like it fast or slow? What.

What’s the last holiday candy you consumed? Peeps.

What’s the last thing you bought at a grocery store? Firewood, propane, ice, cups for jello shots, popcorn, chex, fire starters, wine, two small American flags, and a mini pizza. I have the list on my phone still haha.

Have you ever done a backflip on a giant trampoline? Nope.

Do you believe that there is only ONE person out there for everybody? Kind of. Maybe not like in a predetermined way, but I definitely believe in finding “the one” or whatever.

Do you prefer flowers or chocolate? Chocolate.

Do you remember the first time you used a computer? Kind of. I was 8 or 9.

Do you remember the first computer game you ever played? Probably pinball.

Does your Wii character ever look like you? I think so, except I don’t think you can give it weird colored hair, so not totally like me.

What’s the last sour thing you put in your mouth? Lime.

Do you remember anything from before you were 3? Not too much.

Do you believe in hypnosis? Sure.

Do you reserve pages in the yearbook for certain people? Nah.

Ever had a fantasy about a teacher? Guilty as charged.

What’s the most humiliating outfit your parent made you wear? I don’t know. I’ve never really been humiliated by an outfit.

Did you ever want to change religions? Nope, I’ve never had one and I never will.

Is it hard for you to fall asleep when you have had a lot of sugar? Nope.

What’s your favorite thing to eat with strawberries? Bananas.

How do you eat a Reese’s Peanut butter Cup? With my mouth?

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Go to the store and buy one.

What’s the funniest bumper sticker you’ve ever seen? I don’t know.

Ever been up in the mountains? Not really.

When’s the first time you ever touched snow? Probably pretty little. I was born in September and I’m sure my mom wasted no time putting me in the snow that winter.

What color is your computer desk? The one I am at right now is black.

Are you baptized? Nope.

What did you dream of last night? I had a shitty dream. A family member got a leg chopped off.

Have you ever eaten an exotic animal? Define exotic.

What do you think is the funniest movie of all time? Of all time? Hard to say. The funniest movie to me? Wet Hot American Summer.

Name a line from that movie? There isn’t really a lot of good one-liners.

Would you be surprised if you found out your mom had tattoos? Not really.

Would you wear a leather dog collar for free drinks? Um.

When was the last time you danced the Macarena? I don‘t remember. I may have done it recently while reminiscing about it with some friends.

Can you sing your school’s song? I don’t think we had one.

What was your all time favorite subject in elementary school? Science.

What’s the last song you sang out loud in the car? I don’t remember who sings it but its that Wait a Minute song.

Who is the last person you talked to whose name started with a G? Georgina, the girl who took my Starbucks order a few minutes ago (i left in the middle of the survey oops)

Have you ever bedazzled anything? I think so.

Have you ever bought anything off of HSN or QVC? Nope. Where do you keep your cash? My wallet, on the rare occasion I have any.

Do you fold laundry while watching tv? No. Most thing get hung up.

When’s the last time you used a protractor? Probably not since high school.

When’s the last time you used a Victoria’s Secret product? I don’t think I ever have,

Can you name the kids from the Cosby Show? That show is dead to me now.

What’s your favorite show on Nick At Nite? Three’s Company, I Love Lucy, and Full House.

Have you ever made a rubber band ball? Mhmm.

What zodiac sign do you find to be the most interesting? None of them really.

Would you ever see a psychic? Nah.

When’s the last time you had cotton candy? Probably at the babyshower I threw for my sister, which was circus-themed.

Where is your younger sibling? Non existent.

What’s the last thing you ordered at a Mexican restaurant? Chicken tacos and guacamole.

Do you have an ant problem in the summer? Nah.

Do you tan outside or in a booth? Outside, but not purposely.

Do you still use scrunchies? Nah.

Have you ever met someone for the 1st time that seemed so familiar? Probably.

What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? 60.

Do you keep anything in files? Yes.

Do you have special ringtones for different people? Nah.

How do you eat your steak? Medium rare.

Is your birthmark shaped like anything? I have a freckle/beauty mark/mole on my hand that looks like pac-man a little bit.

Can you put on mascara with your mouth closed? Yeah.

Have you ever worn men’s underwear? Boxers.

Do you own anything that’s fuzzy and purple? Socks.

When’s the last time you were kissed on the cheek? Yesterday.

Do you play with pogs? I’ve never even seen a pog in person.

What wild animal would you like as a pet? Panda.

When’s the last time someone hung up on you? I don’t know.

Have you eaten an entire pizza by yourself? Not in one sitting, but yes.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree? Nah.

Did you read the Babysitters Club book series? I read some. I was more into the show.

How about Goosebumps? ^

Ever worn a flower in your hair? Yes.

What kind of car did your parents have while you were growing up? My mom had two Ford Astro vans: a blue one that my dad ended up taking and then a brown one. In 2000 she got a brand new Dodge Grand Caravan and was the happiest person in the world.

Do you ever wish your birthday was on a different day? Sometimes I wish it was later in the month so people had to look at it on the calendar all month haha.

Do you sunburn easily? Mhmm.

Have you read the Twilight series? Of course not.

Why couldn’t you go to sleep the last time you were up all night? It’s been a while since that has happened.

What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Yippy yappy ones.

What would you name your first born son? I’m not having children but I have always loved the names Alexander and Elliott.

Do you cook anything you don’t like eating? Nope.

Do you watch any reality shows on MTV or VH1? Sometimes I’ll watch Teen Mom or True Life.

Would you have a better chance of surviving in the Sahara or Alaska? Gross.

When’s the last time you pet a cat? This morning when Ramona crawled on me.

Do you remember Eureka’s Castle on Nick JR? I do!

What would you say is Paris Hilton’s occupation? Old News.

Are you wearing a necklace? Nope.

Do you have any noticeable moles or birthmarks? My mom always called them beauty marks.

Count to ten in another language. Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez.

Do you feel uncomfortable telling friends they have boogers in their nose? Nope. What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? In grade school my gym teacher awkwardly tried to teach us but it lasted one whole day. In high school we had a health class and half the class was so immature when we got to the reproductive sections the teacher just made us read them on our own.

What’s the first instrument you ever played? Piano. My dad owns one and I remember banging on the keys as a small child.

What’s the last thing you wore around your neck? A glow necklace last night.

#surveys

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